Eldest Daughter: Poems

The Castle of Either/Or

53 The Castle of Either/Or Once upon a time, there was a family that lived a long way from anyone else. At first, there had been a grandmother, but she was dead. There were two fathers, a good father who played with the little children and made sure they got enough to eat, and a wicked father who hit them. The wicked father kept the first daughter in his bed to keep him warm. The mother was blind and sat by the hearth and sang songs. A secret hid in the first daughter’s hand. She kept her hand closed. One winter, deep snow piled to the tops of the doors, and no one could leave the house. The family ran out of food. The good father heard the hungry children cry. He pushed his way out through the snowdrifts to look for food, and they never saw him again. When the wicked father heard the hungry children crying, he was very angry. He ate the little children, one by one. He did not eat the first daughter because he kept her in his bed to keep him warm. The mother sat by the cold hearth and sang. Two secrets hid in the first daughter’s hand. The winter grew deathly cold, and all the wood was gone. A stick at a time, the wicked father burned the house. He burned the floor, then the roof, and finally the walls. He kept the first daughter in his bed to keep him warm. When the hearth was gone, the blind mother sang one last song, and died. Three secrets hid in the first daughter’s hand. She kept her hand closed. The last stick of the house burned away, the father died, snow melted, and winter was over. The first daughter walked out into the world. She had nothing to take with her but three secrets. The first secret was a ring from her grandmother, too small to fit on anyone’s finger. When she turned the ring against her palm, it chanted: Woeful plight, Woeful plight. Stop your ears and quench your sight. Where is here? Here is where? Blink, my child. Leave here for there. 54 The second secret was a pebble from her little sister. When the first daughter squeezed the pebble, it grew warm and bestowed courage. The third secret was a bowl from her mother, too small to hold even a crumb. When the girl turned the bowl upside down, she heard her mother’s songs. First daughter loved the beautiful world outside the family house. She picked violets and clover blossoms, gathered wild berries and nuts to eat, and laughed as she watched the silly squirrels. When sunset came, evergreen needles and dry leaves made a bed. If the leaves scratched her arms and kept her awake, the ring chanted, she blinked, and forgot where she was. When night was cold, the pebble kept her warm. And every night, the bowl sang her to sleep. She wandered for a long time. Terrifying adventures came her way, but the pebble gave her courage. There were great distances to walk. When she thought she could go no further, she turned the ring: Where is here? Here is where? Blink, my child. Leave here for there. And she blinked, forgot her tired feet and continued along the road. A troll posed an impossible test, but the bowl sang this little song : Noon and midnight, laughter/tears. Brighten eyes, perk up your ears. You will end this woeful plight. Spiral, spiral, then turn right. And she obeyed the song’s words and passed the test. One day, she came to a castle. The castle was built of gray stone blocks hewn straight, with heavy iron doors and words carved above them: 55 Far is near and near is far Either/Or, Either/Or She read the words aloud. Slowly, the iron doors swung open. She squeezed the pebble, walked inside, and called out. The castle was silent. She found one empty room after another, all made of grey stone blocks hewn straight. At length, she came upon a pair of tall wooden doors. She remembered the words from the castle door, and spoke them aloud: Far is near and near is far Either/Or, Either/Or Slowly, the wooden doors swung open, and she walked inside. High windows lit an enormous hall. She saw no one...