The Myopia and Other Plays by David Greenspan

She Stoops to Comedy

She Stoops to Comedy T. Ryder Smith (left) and David Greenspan (right) in She Stoops to Comedy. Playwrights Horizons, New York, 2003. Photograph by Sara Krulwich/The New York Times/Redux. She Stoops to Comedy First produced by Playwrights Horizons, New York City, from April 3 through April 27, 2003. Alexandra Page David Greenspan Kay Fein E. Katherine Kerr Hal Stewart Philip Tabor Eve Addaman Mia Barron Alison Rose Marissa Copeland Jayne Summerhouse E. Katherine Kerr Simon Lanquish T. Ryder Smith Set Design by Michael Brown Lighting Design by Matt Frey Costume Design by Miranda Hoffman Directed by David Greenspan Characters: Alexandra Page—an actress, assumes the character of Harry Samson Alison Rose, Alexandra’s lover—also an actress Kay Fein, close friend of Alexandra—an archeologist or a lighting designer Hal Stewart—a ‹lmmaker Eve Addaman, Hal’s girlfriend—also a ‹lmmaker Jayne Summerhouse, rival to Alexandra—also an actress, she’s studying ‹lm Simon Lanquish—an actor Setting: The stage of course. Time: As indicated. Notes: Alexandra Page is played by an actor, not an actress. At no time in the play is that actor in drag. A cast of six. One actress plays Kay Fein and Jayne Summerhouse. A bed. Four stools. Legs down left and right that serve as offstage. Cell phones are to be mimed. No sound effects! Alexandra should be visible during her ‹rst “offstage” scene in the 146 bathroom. During the ‹nal scene, she must be out of sight, truly offstage prior to her entrance. The actors must never step out of character to comment on the play. They must remain in character and in the play when faced with incongruities or sudden “revisions.” She Stoops to Comedy / 147 Alex: The urge then to move across the words the page to paint a character on the stage. The impulse then to translate onto the stage. The stage I say as fast as ›exible as the page. This then to make through revision the stage a play of words moving its characters its plot its action. Okay ‹ne you say so what a comedy perhaps not funny. Words then you see as you hear them not always connected but enough. This is the way I’ll do it. An actress, name: Alexandra Page. Her lover, Alison Rose. An actress also. Alexandra Page and Alison Rose. This is not funny. Okay, ‹ne. Kay—Fein. Their friend, Kay Fein. Alex’s friend, Kay Fein. An archeologist just back from a dig. A room with curtains and a bed and a door and an offstage. Okay. Fine. Talk, Kay. Talk, Kay Fein. Kay: Alex, what’re you doing? Alex: What am I doing? What’re you doing? I mean here. I thought you were on a dig. Kay: I was. I’m back. What’re you doing in there? Alex: I’m changing. I’ll be right out. I was shocked to get your call, Kay. Shocked. Where were you again? Kay: In Egypt. I was in Egypt. You know, the usual stuff. My hands ‹lthy with the past. Ancient history under my ‹ngernails. And then that call from Charlotte—at my hotel—in Cairo—that you and Alison had split up. Alex: And you dropped everything? Kay: I rushed to London, I ›ew to New York. Alex: You ›ew? Kay: Well this is 1950. Alex: How fast we move—the modern age. And yet at times, Kay, it all feels so post-modern. Whatever that means. Kay: Well, if it doesn’t mean anything now, it will probably mean something then. Alex: I don’t know how it happened. Oh, Kay. A ‹ght, of course. One of the many. I too am an actress. That’s her talking. I had just gotten back from the coast. A small part in a big picture. After all these years on the stage, but I am a stage creature—a creature of the stage—and ‹lm, you know, the motion picture—I mean what does it do for me? What does 148 / The Myopia and Other Plays by David Greenspan it—what has it done for me? Hope Court had a tiny role a cameo, precious little Hope—and Laurence Lawrence—after that scandal in the men’s room—you naughty boy I told him he wasn’t amused. And Hal, a man of the theater or so he says, now he’s making pictures, trying to...