Theo: An Autobiography

Epilogue

Epilogue 430 • E P I L O G U E much since my early days? I don't think so. People don't change; they just become more of what they were to begin with. Having recalled here as much as I could, I do not know to what extent I was able to uncover any hidden demons and, if I did, whether I was able to exorcise them. Looking back at my years, I think about the roads traveled; about the times I tried to hide and the times I refused to hide; about the static and the moving; about what I loved and what I loathed. Then I ask myself: How much of it was truly my time and who, among all of them, were truly my people? The answer must be that, in a sense, all of it was really my time and all of them were my people. More than that, all of it was my song. Zol zayn az ikh boy in del' hift rnayne shlcser, Zol zayn az mayn Got iz ingantsn nita, In troym iz mil' heler, in troym iz mil' beser, In troym iz dcr Himl gar bloyer vi blo. Zol zayn az kh'vel keynmol tsum tsil nit derlangen, Zol zayn az mayn shifvet nit kumen tsum breg, mil' geyt in deym ikh zol hobn dergangen, Mil' gety nor in gang oy!a zunikn veg. Could be that my whole world is only confusion, Could be what I thought was God's word isn't true, Yet my dream is as bright as the brightest illusion, And the sky in my dream is much bluer than blue. Could be that I'll not see the fruit of my yearning, Could be that I'll never be rid of my load, What matters is not the end of the journey, It's the journey itself on a bright sunlit road. -I. PAPIERNIKOV (TRANSLATED BY T. BIKEL) ...