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6. Anger and the Healing Power of Forgiveness: A Psychiatrist's View
- University of Wisconsin Press
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6 Anger and the Healing Power of Forgiveness: A Psychiatrist's View Richard Fitzgibbons Robert Enright and his associates in the Department of Educational Psychology at the University ofWisconsin-Madison have continued to make a significant contribution to the mental health field by their pioneering work in forgiveness studies. Forgiveness as a powerful psychotherapeutic tool has received little attention among mental health professionals because it has been viewed primarily within the domain of theology. In a previous article on the subject (Fitzgibbons 1986), I attempted to clarify the meaning of forgiveness and how it can be used effectively as a cognitive and emotive psychotherapeutic technique to diminish excessive anger in a number of clinical disorders. For over twenty years in a very active practice of psychiatry I have studied the nature and degree of excessive anger in children, adolescents, and adults and have used forgiveness extensively and successfully to resolve hostile feelings and vengeful thinking. The psychotherapeutic uses offorgiveness have resulted in a significant diminishment in the emotional, mental , and physical suffering in our clients and have contributed to successful reconciliations in a variety of relationships. I am excited and enthusiastic about its use in numerous disorders, and I am also aware ofits limitations. From this clinical background I will respond to three central questions: (1) What is interpersonal forgiveness? (2) Can we devise a model to help people to forgive? (3) What are the psychological outcomes for those who forgive? I will conclude with a few suggestions for research in the future. The Nature of Anger Before addressing the first question it is important to examine in some detail the powerful and complex emotion ofanger, which forgiveness can be used to address. An understanding of the nature and manifestations of anger is 63 64 FITZGIBBONS: Anger and the Healing Power ofForgiveness essential ifforgiveness is to be used appropriately. Anger is a strong feeling ofdispleasure and antagonism aroused by a sense ofinjury or wrong. Soon after a hurt or disappointment, this emotion occurs and is closely associated with a degree of sadness from the hurt. In Schimmel's (1979) historical analysis, the subjective feelings of the angry person include the pain of injury (sadness, fear, damage to self-esteem), as well as a certain pleasure at the expectation of revenge and ofventing anger. Anger develops as a natural response of the failure of others to meet one's needs for love, praise, acceptance, and justice, and it is experienced daily in the home, school, community, and place of employment. Anger begins in early childhood in relationships in the home and later is experienced in the community. Three basic mechanisms are used to deal with this emotion: conscious or unconscious denial; active- or passiveaggression expression; and forgiveness. Denial is the major method of dealing with anger in early childhood. As a result of denial, most people bring into their adult lives significant amounts of unconscious anger from their family of origin. The active expression of anger can be appropriate, excessive, or misdirected. The passive-aggressive expression ofanger directs this emotion toward others in a covert manner while the person acts as though he or she is not angry. The experience of anger leads to a desire for revenge, which does not diminish until the existence of the resentful feelings is recognized and subsequently resolved. Without this recognition and release, anger can be displaced for many years and erupt decades later in loving relationships with significant others. It will not be fully resolved until a conscious decision is made to let go of the desire for revenge and to forgive. Many mental health professionals have viewed expression as the most appropriate way to deal with this emotion (e.g., see Freud 1963; Janov 1970; Rubin 1970; Novoca 1975; further discussion is in Fitzgibbons 1986). However, in my view, although the appropriate expression ofanger is important and healthy, when relied on solely for relief~ serious problems can develop because of the degree and strength of unresolved anger from previous disappointments encountered in childhood, adolescence, and adult life. The reenactment of past traumatic events with the expression of anger toward those who inflicted pain does not fully resolve the anger experienced in different life stages, nor does the expression ofanger result in a true sense of justice or freedom from the desire for revenge. The excessive expression of anger can separate spouses by making them even more angry or aggressive with one another (Straus 1974), adversely affect children (Gardner 1971), increase guilt and shame...