Zea Mexican Diary: 7 September 1926—7 September 1986

XI. The Tulip Tree

CfHE CfULIP ern]E crhe tree planting (there were some scares &; breakdown hitches) after all went well, thank God. Started off, as you might xpect, feeling v upset Went first for the poor tree which had languished all night in the cold (one of the problems/hitches) then passed for Bev who said she'd planned to go up anyway to help out Jean which was good news Halfway up she realized that no one had remembered to invite Miss Mac which put a further dampner on my mind but didn't wish to tum the clock back clock back for her since it was already almost 7 and I wanted that the 'ceremony' begin by 8. In the end, Mary, who didn't reach till almost 8 (!) agreed to go back down w/ Gerry Craig but we decided finally that since now [almost] 'everyone ' was there we'd better not delay anymore since it wd take some one hour before Mary cd return & besides Miss Mac might have gone off to Mass or something & there was the hope that since she & Kitty went to the same church, she might (I hoped!) tum up w/ Kitty & GBeck (though she didn't) We began by opening the box w/ the ashes. Mary Aunt May Sola nge Barbel & myself in Michael's room (the room w/the big free table - the 'computer room') Barbel opened the box (I couldn't) - a thin 8-inch 197 mahogany affair w/ a sliding cover & there were the ashes in this plastic bag (Mrs Clarke had told me/warned me - 'urns no longer imported' - though you cd get a plastic imitation ... ) crhere was plenty of ash & the box that contained it was quite heavy with it but it wasn't wood-ash-white but a kind of (I was surprised) pink/brown w/ white flecks in it - like coral sand w / little clips of fingernails of shells & conchs & perhaps crab in there that smooth & shine & hint of pink: the sand of sea & time our origins But a little larger & sharper & grittier than sand which really has been rolled around by whale & wheel of wave & plankton We poured the ash into a container, a kind of small blue /bronzelike looking ewer found by Jean in one of our cupboards & prob brought by us from India but this was so small that we had to get a second vessel & even then almost half the ash was left/was this my loved one's body? One Irish Tn lady who also was surprised the ashes were not white she had been curious to see it/see them - dressed in her white &white tiehead - all ready for her Zion Church much higher up the morning, said it was wicked, this burning ofthe body, and did she ask for that ...? 198 Sorne is to go to Guyana, some to Barbados, a little I've decided to keep The rest I think I'll pour into her garden spot [in the end we poured that 'little' third into the planting of her tulip tree] & when I was going downstairs to get the second vessel, I put some of the ashes on my tongue & swallowed her But before we even touched her earth, we stood in silence for a moment (Mary, Aunt May, Solange, Blirbel, me) W lall the others knowing nothing I talking outside the window. Then Barbel said a prayer After which, on instinct, I touched the ashes wI my middle-finger fingertip & placed what was stuck there upon the forehead, like a tika, of the four, embracing each one each in tum as I did this. Then it was poured into the IT vessels, Barbel said another prayer, and we went down to join the others>