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COMMENTARIES MARRIAGE IN THE EARLY TIMES Performance Note Time: 19 September 1967, mid-morning. Place: In a home in Nkanga, Gatyana District, the Transkei. Audience: About thirty men and women. (Perf. 702.) Regarding the marriage of a young woman: when a young man wanted to take a wife, he went and asked for the young woman at So-and-so's place. The family was told that it was fitting that this young man get a wife. No young man would ever say to a person older than himself, "I want a wife." It was his father who would reach a certain point at which he would say, "I must get a wife for my child. He's old enough now." That was the normal procedure. When the people had assembled, that father said, "Fellow clansmen, I want to get a wife for my child. The young man's old enough now, and I want us to consider this matter." The elders and the people talked back and forth then. Someone said, "Yes, you're right." "That's the way it should be." "You're right, Fellow clansman." "Yes, really. He's old enough now. It's just about time." But it was not the marriageable son who got up and did something about it. He just stayed there; nothing in the conversation was directed at him. He was just there; he was not consulted about anything. In time, he came to realize that his fathers were discussing this matter, even though he did not know the details. No one, not a man or a woman, was told what these elders were discussing at this home. When all that had taken place, this elder, the head of the household, said, "Now I ask you, So-and-so," and he addressed a man who was mature, "I want you to seek a wife for my child. The homestead that I prefer is So-and-so's"-he named the homestead and the village where the homestead was located. He named the homestead and village when he was sending people to seek a wife for his child to marry, according to the ancient custom of the Xhosa. These men set out-perhaps two men, perhaps three. They traveled, carrying black sticks that were given particular names to distinguish them from other sticks. It was said that the men were carrying sticks for the purpose of doing something special, for carrying out the business of their home. Those men arrived at this homestead. They sat in the courtyard. 272 Copyrighted Material Commentaries 273 They did not enter the house. Anyone could see that they were there on some kind of business, an important matter, for they were sitting in the courtyard. Then one man from this homestead went to where they were sitting and asked them, "Where have you come from?" They answered. The oldest man among them said, "We've come from our home. We've come to ask for a spear." They talked in that way. Then the man who had gone out to interrogate them got up and went to the house, to the old man of the homestead. He arrived and said, "These people who are visiting this home have come to see the great man." But this man did not say here in the house what the strangers had come for. That fellow of the homestead got up and went out to the men. He greeted them; they responded. He sat down and said, "Now these gentlemen here, where have they come from?" The older one among those in the groom's party responded, "We have come from our home to visit you, Sir. We have been sent by the old man of our home." He called that old man by name. "That old man said that we should come to you carrying a lotion with which a woman is washed on the day that she is to be married. He sent us here to ask for a spear." The man said, "Mm! Has the spear that you're seeking at this homestead been seen? Or has it not been seen?" The visitors responded, "Really, Father, as far as we can gather from this father of ours at home, it was seen once. It appears that she was seen once. And that old man says that he wants a spear from this home." "Mm, well, he had better point out the house where he saw the spear. As...

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