Teatro Chicana: A Collective Memoir and Selected Plays

Anti-Nuke Commercial

Characters Gas & Electric Representative Mother (homemaker type) Teenage Son Teenage Daughter Show Host Two Cleaners (in radiation suits) (Show Host enters stage right toward left, kazoos in background blare tune of “Rocky Raccoon.”) show host: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Let me welcome you to your favorite T.V. show—THIS IS YOUR LIFE!! (Kazoos blare.) But now a word from a representative of our sponsor, your favorite and only utility company, the Gas and Electric Company! (Blare of kazoos. Host exits stage left. Enter stage right G&E Rep.) g&e rep: Yes, we’ve heard lately about the oil shortage and we’ve heard about Three Mile Island and the accidents connected with nuclear energy, but this is a one-sided view. The reality is that we need nuclear power to proAnti -Nuke Commercial 241 242 Actos / Scripts vide and meet our current and future energy needs. Today I want you to meet a family whose total energy needs are provided by nuclear power. (Entering left stage, Mother and two teenagers, Mother wearing an apron and mixing food in bowl. She faces the audience. G&E Rep. stands proudly, still right stage.) mother: Yes, our family was continually suffering the loss of electricity and spontaneous blackouts, but that was before they built the nuclear plant. Now every day we have all the atomic electricity we want, don’t we, children? son: Yes, Mom! I can hear and even feel in my body all the different sounds coming from my stereo all the time. I get so automatically charged just by playing my electric guitar. But you know something, Ma, I’ve been feeling tired. I don’t feel like doing anything (yawn). Besides, my hair is falling out. (He pulls out a chunk of hair and laughs.) Look, Ma, hair! daughter: That’s funny, I’m not tired, but I do have a skin problem even though I use the Epidermis Zapping Machine to relax and tone my skin. (She exposes her arms. One arm is full of boils and dark scars, the other arm looks normal until she scratches, and takes off a layer [ace tape] of skin. Mother gasps.) daughter: You see what I mean, Mom? mother: When did this start happening, kids? son: Oh, I don’t know . . . not sure, even though I feel all these vibes. It’s like that earthquake. daughter: Wait a minute! The earthquake six months ago! The nuclear plant was already in operation, but they did say the deadly nuclear waste is safely buried in barrels under the earth. son: So, if the earthquake sprung a nuclear waste leak, the Earth dies, but not us? Right, Ma? mother: Oh no! Is this why I am . . .? (She clutches her right mid-torso as if in sudden awareness of increasing pain, screaming and pointing at the G&E Rep. and children get very scared.) mother: You are contaminating the earth! You are polluting all of us! You liars! You killers! You never told us we had to pay for this automatic nuclear power with our LIVERS! (The family drops to floor with arms and legs shaking in air, dying like roaches.) anti-nuke commercial 243 g&e rep: (Flustered at first, regains composure.) Yes, folks. Nuclear atomic power is our tomorrow. Nuclear atomic power is the answer to all our energy needs. This is our future. (Enter two masked cleaners in preventative radiation suits to drag the bodies off toward left stage. G&E Rep. takes a bow and throws kisses to audience and exits right stage.) host: (Enters to center front stage.) Let’s hear it, folks, an applause for the Grave New World! (Kazoos blaring “Rocky Raccoon” tune.) End THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK ...