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The Mayan concept of in lak’ech, approximated in the epigraph, has its speci fic manifestation in Mayan culture but is in many respects a concept that has corollaries in cultures around the world. This notion of reciprocity and mutuality can be found in Western civilization in Christianity’s “golden rule,” doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. In this chapter mutuality and reciprocity assume particular importance because the interviewees each speak to their role as facilitators of change in their midwestern communities. Not insignificantly, while both Minnesota and Iowa have had a Latino presence since the early twentieth century, primarily as workers actively recruited for the agricultural and railroad industries, they have also experienced an intense surge in Latino immigration in the past twenty years. Melrose, Minnesota, and West Liberty, Iowa, exemplify small-town communities whose economic stability has depended on this influx of immigrants . Numerous times throughout my trip, I heard stories about how local communities have changed and about how the younger generation no longer wants to perform wage labor in fields and factories. In pursuit of better opportunities for social mobility they often move to urban areas for an education that will give them access to white-collar work. A paradox has resulted from this phenomenon: The economic viability of these small towns and the way of life of an aging white community have become dependent on new arrivals, who are often actively solicited to live and work in these towns. This occurs even as townsfolk grapple with the cultural changes that accompany the new arrivals. To state what might not be as obvious as one would think, the local leadership of small towns makes an enormous difference in determining whether a community receives newcomers with open arms or suspicion. three an emerging sense of mutuality tú eres mi otro yo [you are my other me] 86 conversations across our america The process is uneven, of course, as generational differences between youth and elders often emerge, with the latter often being more rigid in their attitudes toward cultural difference. But this, too, is uneven. What we learn from these interviews is what facilitates and what impedes a sense of mutuality . As mediators and facilitators of change, all four of these interviewees seek to find common ground and dispel the unwarranted fears of the host community. In “The Meaning of Mutuality” the psychologist Judith V. Jordan asserts: In a mutual exchange one is both affecting the other and being affected by the other; one extends oneself out to the other and is also receptive to the impact of the other. There is openness to influence, emotional availability , and a constantly changing pattern of responding to and affecting the other’s state. There is both receptivity and active initiative toward the other. Crucial to a mature sense of mutuality is an appreciation of the wholeness of the other, with special awareness of the other’s subjective experience. Thus the other is not there merely to take care of one’s needs. Through empathy and an active interest in the other as a different , complex person, one develops the capacity at first to allow the other ’s differentness and ultimately to value and encourage those qualities that make that person different and unique. When empathy and concern flow both ways, there is an intense affirmation of the self and paradoxically a transcendence of the self, a sense of the self as part of a larger relational unit. The interaction allows for a relaxation of the sense of separateness; the other’s well-being becomes as important as one’s own. This does not imply merging, which suggests a blurring or a loss of distinctness of self.1 Although Jordan is referring to individual relationships, her analysis provides important insight into social relationships as well. The tactics that each of the interviewees in this section use to bridge differences are premised on (1) the idea that difference is just difference— that they need not be placed in hierarchical relationship to one another nor serve as the basis for fear between communities; (2) that being a facilitator of change requires a willingness to place oneself in an uncomfortable position ; and (3) that there are core values that people share—as workers, as human beings, as members of the same community, and as immigrants or descendants of immigrants, that can be tapped...

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