Jalos, USA: Transnational Community and Identity

Chapter Three: Courtship and Marriage: “Dando la Serenata”

39 C h a P t e R t h R e e CoURtshIP aND MaRRIage “Dando la Serenata” Juan Pérez, who works at a local dairy in turlock, described his Jalos courtship with his future wife, socorro, as muy bonito (very lovely). he was visiting Jalos during a fiesta, crossing the plaza on an errand for his mother one evening, when he saw her: “that time, I said that one looks familiar, and I even asked her for a turn around the plaza, and that was it. I even forgot about the errand! that was our courtship. after that, I came back [to turlock], lasted three months, and went back to see her. after three months I came back again and lasted for another six months, and then I got married.” this chapter looks at dating and courtship with a special focus on changes in traditional dating and courtship rituals in Jalos and the United states. g e n e r a T i o n a l d i f f e r e n C e s Research has shown that there are generational differences in the nature and form of labor migration and that settlement experiences 40 Jalos, usa vary over time and across generations. while not focusing specifically on dating and courtship, for example, Manuel Barajas (2009, 10) divided his xaripu respondents into four distinct cohorts, which he labeled as Retiradas/os (ages sixty-five and older), Mayores (ages fifty to sixty-four), Hijas/os (ages thirty to forty-nine), and Chicas/os (ages twenty to twenty-nine). these cohorts corresponded roughly to the first, second, third, and fourth generation. Most retiradas/os were born as landless peasants around the time of the Mexican Revolution of 1910 and the subsequent Cristero Revolt, and their grandparents initially migrated to the United states in search of work during the thirty-three year dictatorship of Porfirio Díaz (1876–1910), when many native communities were impoverished (Barajas 2009, 11). Most retiradas/os continue to visit the xaripu community, particularly during the celebration of the town’s fiesta in January for the Virgen of the Immaculate Conception (Barajas 2009, 12). even though they live in the United states, “they maintain a deeply transnational sense of identity and consider both Mexico and the United states their home” (Barajas 2009, 12). Chicas/os can be distinguished from the older cohorts in the sense that they were born in the United sates and are not transmigrants. although they occasionally visit Mexico, their home is clearly California (Barajas 2009, 22). while they typically grew up in migrant farm families, very few have had extensive farm labor experiences. about half visit xaripu regularly or at least once every one to three years. Members of this cohort tend to be upwardly mobile, and four of the women had university degrees, which is rare for people from xaripu (Barajas 2009, 22). Robert Courtney smith also does not focus on dating per se, but he notes that there are clear generational differences in the way that people from ticuani manifest and negotiate gender in ticuani and in New York. For the first generation, what smith calls a “ranchero masculinity” is still the dominant ideology, even though other ideologies may coexist with it (smith 2006b, 120). But the second generation must continue to negotiate various concepts of hegemonic and nonhegemonic Mexican and american masculinity and femininity . In fact, transnational life offers a clear view of how these traditional gender practices are lived out and negotiated (smith 2006b, 120). Julia and toñio, second-generation “novio” New York resi- Courtship and marriage 41 dents from ticuani, must renegotiate their relationship and gender roles, especially when they return to ticuani. In fact, toñio used his trips back to ticuani as an opportunity to reclaim the ranchero masculinity that he felt his father enjoyed, whereas Julia “attempted to recover dimensions of Mexican culture and ‘authenticate’ herself while retaining her autonomy” (smith 2006b, 124). Jennifer hirsch concludes in her study of two communities in los altos de Jalisco not only that courtship has changed dramatically in the last generation but that it has become an end in itself, a stage in the life cycle to be savored, rather than an inevitable means to marriage. It has become “una diversión” that results in entertainment or amusement (hirsch 2003, 81). these generational shifts in how people select a marital...