Girls for Sale: Kanyasulkam, a Play from Colonial India

4. Act Four

SCENE ONE. Ramap-Pantulu’s porch. (Ramap-Pantulu sits on a chair and Madhura-vani gives him betel leaves rolled with areca nut.) ramap-pantulu: If only I had learned English during my school days, I would have a field day before the judges. I have Jupiter in the house of speech in my horoscope. That’s why I am successful even if I don’t know English. madhura-vani: Take a talking dog hunting—you say sic’em, he says sic’em back to you. ramap-pantulu: Am I a dog? madhura-vani: I’m just joking; don’t take it seriously. ramap-pantulu: Are you really joking? madhura-vani: If I don’t joke with you, do you want me to joke with everyone in town? ramap-pantulu: You know what will happen if you do that. madhura-vani: That’s why I have only you to call a dog or a pig. I can’t call anyone else that. I have a right to call you whatever I want. And as for your skill in words, what can I say? I was taken by your words and I fell for you, right? ramap-pantulu: If only I knew English, English women would run after me. madhura-vani: Aren’t we Telugu women good enough for your charming face? When you speak of English, I am reminded of Girisam-garu. People say he speaks like an Englishman. ramap-pantulu: Never mind what people say—what do people know? He speaks pidgin English like the cooks in the Englishman’s kitchen. If he utters such words in the court, the judges will shoo him away. madhura-vani: You should know such things better. I hear that Girisam-garu is Lubdha Avadhanlu’s cousin. You never told me. ramap-pantulu: Why is he in your thoughts? What is it to you if he is Lubdha’s cousin or not? madhura-vani: Thoughtless mind and mindless thought. Act Four ramap-pantulu: You think I am mindless? madhura-vani: No. It’s me that’s mindless. ramap-pantulu: Why do you say that? madhura-vani: Because I am worried. ramap-pantulu: What are you worried about? madhura-vani: If Girisam-garu is Lubdha Avadhanlu’s cousin, he will go to the wedding. If he goes, he’ll find some pretext to pick a quarrel with you and beat you up. ramap-pantulu: Yes, that’s true. Good you reminded me. But Lubdha is a miser, you know. He won’t invite any of his relatives to his wedding. madhura-vani: Girisam-garu doesn’t need an invitation. ramap-pantulu: So you must have asked him to come. madhura-vani: Why would I have anything to do with him? You may have no principles, but I have mine. ramap-pantulu: Then how do you know he will go to the wedding? madhura-vani: At this very moment Girisam-garu is at the bride’s house under the pretext of tutoring her brother. He is in charge of all the wedding arrangements. That’s why I assume he will attend the wedding. ramap-pantulu: If he comes, what to do? madhura-vani: You’re asking me? ramap-pantulu: What if the wedding doesn’t take place? madhura-vani: How is that possible? ramap-pantulu: Well, I planned a strategy. madhura-vani: Then you fulfilled my wish. ramap-pantulu: How can Ramappa live without obeying your orders ? madhura-vani: Give me a kiss. (Kisses him in appreciation.) ramap-pantulu: But Madhuram, what if my strategy fails and he shows up at the wedding after all? madhura-vani: I am a woman and you ask me for advice? ramap-pantulu: A woman’s mind is subtle. If it’s a court battle, I can outwit anyone. If it’s a fistfight, I am paralyzed. madhura-vani: Close the doors behind you and stay in the house until the wedding is done. ramap-pantulu: Great idea. I told you, women think well. madhura-vani: But I’m afraid of one thing. What if he locks the door from outside and sets fire to the house? ramap-pantulu: That’s instant death all right. Surely, Girisam is capable of arson. madhura-vani: What will you give me if I tell you a way out? 62 Girls for Sale ramap-pantulu: I will worship you as the very goddess who saved my life. madhura-vani: (With a...