Searching for Hope: Life at a Failing School in the Heart of America

16. It Feels Like I'm a Somebody

+ + + 16 IT FEELS LIKE I’M A SOMEBODY. The choir was roaring by early December. From the start of each class until the end, it was a wall of music. The students were filled with more confidence than ever before, and they spent each class eager to impress Spencer Lloyd, who had spent so many classes working with them and so much time after class talking them through their problems. They noticed things about him that were different, such as when he frantically labored through classes one week while suffering from a nasty cold, or when he let a student who wasn’t in his class paint a huge mural on the back wall of the class, or when he told them he loved them. Theholidayconcertwasapproaching,andLloydhadbuiltanambitioussetlist with the help of Michael Weber, the young band teacher with whom he’d spent many hours talking about the big things they wanted to accomplish. They had a dream of turning Manual into a school known for its top-notch music program. They thought a decent turnout at the holiday concert could help lead them in that direction. They had seen the demise of the football program and wanted to It feels like I’m a somebody. 151 show the school district that their programs were on the way up. They believed that students desperately needed to feel pride in their school and that such a feeling would make them more likely and eager to come to school and succeed. The Manual music program could provide that inspiration, they insisted. The students were getting excited about the possibility of a large crowd. They had grown accustomed to having more singers on stage than listeners in their audience. But now they were peppering Lloyd with questions. “Do you think strangers will really come out to see us?” “Do you think the auditorium will be filled?” Lloyd was excited, too, and said such a turnout was indeed possible. But he tried to hold down their expectations. “Even if we get a few hundred people,” he told his students one day, “that’ll be a lot of people listening to us, more than ever before.” Still, the students were hoping for more. I spent many of my days in early December in Lloyd’s class working on the upcoming column. They were some of my favorite times of the school year, as I often just sat back and watched a whirlwind of teaching and singing and camaraderie . The singers still struggled at times—lacking years of training and, in some cases, confidence. But this was special. When I wrote the column, I told readers that Lloyd was an example of exactly the type of teacher we all say we want in our struggling schools. He was optimistic, energetic, and focused on excellence. He wanted to change the culture of a school and a neighborhood where students were rarely pushed to excel. He wanted to bring back some of what Manual once was known for. So why not support his program? I wrote about students like a fourteen-year-old girl with a golden voice and sad home life, one that involved visits by Child Protective Services. She told me she would have dropped out of school by then, like so many other freshmen, if not for her choir class. “It’s where I feel comfortable,” she said. I wrote about Luis, the junior who had turned from shy to outgoing in just a few months of working with Lloyd. “This class really does help build self-confidence,” he said. “It gives a whole new meaning to school.” I didn’t want to exaggerate. After all, Lloyd continued to struggle with the same problems that were found elsewhere in the building. In a school where families were often forced to move from one neighborhood to another when the rent came due, students sometimes disappeared from his class. And some of his students got in trouble in other classes, leading to suspensions that cost them valuable in-class practice time. Others got in trouble outside of school. Some didn’t show up for practices. Many of the students were new to organized music. But he fought through every challenge placed in his path. 152 searching for hope One day Lloyd sat on a stool in front of his class and talked to the students about the upcoming concert. To groans...