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summary
Couples can make significant progress toward resolving their own problems when they receive appropriate guidance from a caring person. This book outlines five tasks focused on identity, agency, and meaning that spiritual caregivers can use to empower couples for significant change in just three to five conversations. Critically integrating desert spiritual theology with empirical data about successful marriages, Bidwell advocates for mutuality and partnership within covenanted relationships, which allows partners to create an alliance strong enough to resist the forces that threaten relationshipsespecially the negative influences of criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and withdrawal.Pastors who adopt the approach outlined in the text will "travel lightly" in terms of pastoral power, decentering themselves so that couples can identify and build on their unique strengths and relationship with the divine.

Table of Contents

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  1. Cover
  2. p. 1
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  1. Title Page, Copyright
  2. pp. 2-5
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  1. Contents
  2. pp. v-7
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  1. Editor’s Foreword
  2. pp. vii-viii
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  1. Introduction. Getting Started: A Frame for What Follows
  2. pp. 1-12
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  1. 1. Mutuality and Partnership: Theological Norms
  2. pp. 13-26
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  1. 2. Destructive Passions
  2. pp. 27-39
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  1. 3. A “SMART ” Approach to Couples Care
  2. pp. 41-54
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  1. 4. Separating People from Problems and Passions
  2. pp. 55-68
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  1. 5. Mapping Mutual Influence
  2. pp. 69-87
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  1. 6. Attending to Teamwork
  2. pp. 89-102
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  1. 7. Reclaiming Partnership
  2. pp. 103-116
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  1. 8. Telling a New Story
  2. pp. 117-130
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  1. Epilogue
  2. pp. 131-141
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  1. Notes
  2. pp. 133-134
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  1. References
  2. pp. 135-142
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  1. INDEX
  2. pp. 143-144
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