Frontmatter

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Title Page, Copyright, Acknowledgments, Dedication

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Contents

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Amplified Dog

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pp. 3-4

Part I

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p. 5

Ooh My Soul

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pp. 7-8

I Never Had an Imaginary Friend

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p. 9

My Wife Insists that, on our First Date, I Told Her I Had Seven Kinds of Hair

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p. 10

The New World Book of Webbs

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pp. 11-12

Cat Possessed by Poet Keats

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pp. 13-14

Sperm Counts Are Falling

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pp. 15-16

Pumpkin-Envy

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p. 17

I Never Promised You a Worm Farm

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p. 18

Kissing

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p. 19

Prayer to Tear the Sperm-Dam Down

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pp. 20-22

Cyclops

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p. 23

My Son Is Called “Developmentally Delayed”

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p. 24

Consider How The Toilet Overflows

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pp. 25-26

Plato Didn’t Feel Like a Great Philosopher

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p. 27

Tear-Stained Confetti

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pp. 28-29

The Animals Are Leaving

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p. 30

Part II

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p. 31

How You Know You’re Not a Spiritual Master

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pp. 33-34

Daddy’s Disease

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p. 35

In Unromantic Times

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p. 36

Two Heroes

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pp. 37-38

Surrender

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p. 39

Reservations Confirmed

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p. 40

Sad Bus

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p. 41

Lost Bobbers

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p. 42

Erik Discovers, Among Other Things, His Hands

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p. 43

Librarian’s Son

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pp. 44-45

Heat Wave

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p. 46

King Solomon’s Hit Man

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p. 47

Post-Modern Life

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p. 48

English

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pp. 49-50

Taming my Excesses

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pp. 51-52

Car Starting Late at Night

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p. 53

Part III

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p. 55

The Open-Air Recital Survived a Shaky Start

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pp. 57-58

Bat Boy Joins Up

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pp. 59-61

A Meal Not Eaten

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pp. 62-63

Brain Damage

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p. 64

Mysteries

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p. 65

Landscapes

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pp. 66-67

A Grand Opening of Hearts

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p. 68

Amateurs

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p. 69

Hummingbirds

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p. 70

Does Time Really Exist?

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p. 71

Seducing Sleep

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pp. 72-73

Scuba Heaven

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p. 74

Taking Out Trash

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pp. 75-76

How to Live

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pp. 77-78

The End

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pp. 79-80

In the Beginning Was the Word

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pp. 81-82