In this Book

Make the Connection
summary

In this collection of compelling and practical essays, Emmy Award–winning broadcaster, newspaper columnist, and motivational speaker Steve Adubato shares concrete tips and tools that will help you connect more effectively at work, at home, under pressure, in leadership roles, and in high-tech environments. From avoiding unnecessary arguments with your spouse to coaching a valuable, yet difficult employee, Adubato’s essays delve into the key factors that motivate people to act and respond the way that they do.

            You will find answers to some of the most common questions about public speaking as well as advice on overcoming its anxieties. Whether the forum is a PTA meeting or a large professional function, essays explore topics such as:

·         Why even practiced speakers sometimes experience stage fright

  • How to keep your audience awake and  interested in what you are saying

 

You will learn essential skills for interacting in the workplace, including:

  • How to negotiate a good deal and still be honest and straight
  • How to keep team projects from falling apart
  • How to conduct yourself in confrontational situations, such as receiving a public insult

 

Drawing on examples set by public figures, including Bill Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, Mario Cuomo, Martha Stewart, Jack Welch, Joe Torre, and many others, Adubato addresses the unique communication challenges that those in leadership positions face. Essays examine:

·         What ordinary people can learn from leaders in high-profile positions

·         Why so many leaders have difficulty taking responsibility and apologizing for their actions

 

As technology continues to provide opportunities for quicker and more visual communication, Adubato also lets you know when hi-tech bells and whistles get in the way of making a more personal and human connection. For instance, 

·         Why do we hide behind e-mail messages when we have something very difficult to say?

·         How does communication deteriorate when cell phones and e-mail are competing for our attention?

 

Finally, Adubato reminds us that communicating at home is no less important or any less difficult than communicating in public or at work. From contemporary challenges to age-old questions, essays explore:

·         How you can more effectively talk with your kids about war and terrorism

·         What forms of persuasion are more effective than nagging

 

Filled with timely examples and practical suggestions, Make the Connection is a must-read for everyone looking to improve their professional and personal relationships.

 

Table of Contents

  1. Title Page, Copyright
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  1. CONTENTS
  2. pp. ix-xi
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  1. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  2. p. xiii
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  1. INTRODUCTION
  2. pp. 1-6
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  1. Communication 101
  2. p. 7
  1. 1 Message Sent Does Not Equal Message Received
  2. pp. 9-11
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  1. 2. Connecting Means Taking Risks
  2. pp. 11-12
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  1. 3. Body Language Speaks Volumes,
  2. pp. 12-14
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  1. 4. Mushy Messages Don’t Cut It
  2. pp. 14-15
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  1. 5. Lose the Jargon No One Understands
  2. pp. 15-17
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  1. 6. When Less Is More
  2. pp. 17-19
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  1. 7. Communication: A Matter of Life and Death
  2. pp. 19-20
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  1. 8. The Q & A
  2. pp. 21-22
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  1. 9. The Power of Questions
  2. pp. 22-24
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  1. 10. The “Funnel”Approach
  2. pp. 24-26
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  1. 11. George Bush—the Father—Learns New Tricks
  2. pp. 26-27
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  1. 12. Andrew Cuomo Is No Mario When Communicating
  2. pp. 27-28
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  1. 13. Communication Resolutions for a New Year
  2. pp. 29-30
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  1. The Power of Passion andConnecting with Others
  2. p. 31
  1. 14. Nine Tools of the Compelling Communicator
  2. pp. 33-35
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  1. 15. Meet Sister Marianne McCann
  2. pp. 35-36
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  1. 16. What’s Your CQ? (We’re Talking Communication Quotient
  2. p. 37
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  1. 17. “But I Have More Slides . . . ,”
  2. pp. 38-40
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  1. 18. Planning a Conference? No Detail Is Too Small
  2. pp. 40-41
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  1. 19. Why Are We Here?
  2. pp. 42-43
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  1. 20. Q = A 1
  2. pp. 43-45
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  1. 21. What We Really Want from Our Leaders
  2. pp. 45-47
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  1. 22. Most Great Speakers Are Made Not Born
  2. pp. 47-48
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  1. 23. Mario Cuomo Speaks from the Heart
  2. pp. 49-50
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  1. 24. Rudy Is a “Hit” at the Yogi Classic
  2. pp. 50-52
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  1. 25. “Presidential” Presentation Matters a Lot
  2. pp. 52-54
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  1. 26. Dean’s Scream Ended His Dream
  2. pp. 55-56
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  1. 27. Why Kerry Didn’t Connect
  2. pp. 56-59
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  1. Leadership
  2. p. 59
  1. 28. “You Like Me . . . You Really Like Me!”
  2. pp. 61-62
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  1. 29. Attitude Is Just About Everything
  2. pp. 63-64
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  1. 30. Take the Leadership Test
  2. pp. 64-66
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  1. 31. Great Leaders Make Great Teachers
  2. pp. 66-67
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  1. 32. Hank Keirsey Steps Up
  2. pp. 68-69
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  1. 33. Great Leaders Aren’t Always in the Top Spot
  2. pp. 69-71
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  1. 34. When Delegating, Don’t Undo
  2. pp. 71-73
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  1. 35. The Challenge of Change
  2. pp. 73-75
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  1. 36. With Feedback, Accentuate the Positive
  2. pp. 75-76
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  1. 37. The Seven Deadly Sins of Leadership
  2. pp. 77-78
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  1. 38. Ginny Bauer Leads with Her Heart
  2. pp. 78-80
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  1. 39. Rudy’s Rules of Leadership
  2. pp. 80-82
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  1. 40. Great Facilitation Pays Big Dividends
  2. pp. 82-84
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  1. 41. Jack Welch Leads “from the Gut,”
  2. pp. 84-85
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  1. 42. Bill Parcells a Leadership Guru? Not So Fast
  2. pp. 86-87
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  1. Organizational Life
  2. p. 89
  1. 43. Micromanaging Doesn’t Avoid Mistakes
  2. pp. 91-92
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  1. 44. Downsizing Requires Quality Communication
  2. pp. 93-95
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  1. 45. Change Can Be Good
  2. pp. 95-97
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  1. 46. Swimming with the Fishes
  2. pp. 97-100
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  1. 47. NASA: A Problem of Culture
  2. pp. 100-101
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  1. 48. FBI and CIA: Not on the Same Page
  2. pp. 102-103
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  1. 49. Plans for My Succession: Are You Nuts?
  2. pp. 103-105
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  1. 50. Yankees’Manager Torre: A Great Leader on Any Field
  2. pp. 105-106
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  1. At Work
  2. p. 107
  1. 51. Job Hunters Need to Prepare
  2. pp. 109-111
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  1. 52. Invest Early in New Employees
  2. pp. 111-113
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  1. 53. Handling Employee Complaints
  2. pp. 113-115
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  1. 54. Don’t Hold a Meeting If . . .
  2. pp. 115-116
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  1. 55. Let’s Make a Deal
  2. pp. 117-118
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  1. 56. Communication Is the Key to Great Teamwork
  2. pp. 119-120
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  1. 57. Workplace Debating 101
  2. pp. 120-122
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  1. 58. The Dangers of Multitasking
  2. pp. 122-123
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  1. 59. Those Constant Interruptions
  2. pp. 124-125
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  1. 60. Speak Slowly, Clearly When Leaving a Message
  2. pp. 125-127
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  1. 61. Using PowerPoint? Better Have a Plan B
  2. pp. 127-129
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  1. 62. PowerPoint Is Great If . . .
  2. pp. 129-131
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  1. 63. Tips for Company Parties
  2. pp. 131-134
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  1. Motivation
  2. p. 135
  1. 64. “You Have Two Weeks: Tick-Tock,”
  2. p. 137
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  1. 65. A Pat on the Back Pays Big Dividends
  2. pp. 139-140
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  1. 66. “You Need It When?”
  2. pp. 141-142
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  1. 67. A Resistant Audience Presents a Big Opportunity
  2. pp. 142-144
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  1. The CustomerIs Always Right
  2. p. 145
  1. 68. The Customer Is Always Right
  2. pp. 147-149
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  1. 69. Customer Service Should Never Be Subpar
  2. pp. 149-150
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  1. 70. “Guerrilla Marketing”Makes Sense
  2. pp. 150-152
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  1. 71. Jack Mitchell “Hugs”His Customers
  2. pp. 152-154
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  1. Communicating withStrength in Tough Situations
  2. p. 155
  1. 72. Confrontational and Contentious Are Not the Same Thing
  2. pp. 157-158
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  1. 73. Going Beyond Honesty to Empathy,
  2. pp. 159-160
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  1. 74. “The Chandelier Is Perfect—for the Waldorf!”
  2. pp. 161-163
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  1. 75. “You’re Such a Jerk” and Other Insults
  2. pp. 163-164
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  1. 76. The Real “No Spin” Zone
  2. pp. 164-166
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  1. 77. The Feds Are Not on the Same Page with the Anthrax Scare
  2. pp. 166-167
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  1. 78. A Respectful “No”Helps Business Go
  2. pp. 168-169
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  1. 79. How to Deal with Workplace Bullies
  2. pp. 170-171
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  1. 80. Sweating It Out at Fox
  2. pp. 171-173
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  1. 81. Don’t Play Word Games When Apologizing
  2. pp. 173-175
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  1. 82. Bush’s Blind Spot
  2. pp. 175-177
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  1. 83. Lessons from the McGreevey Resignation Crisis
  2. pp. 177-180
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  1. 84. Martha Whips Up Real Thin Image Spin
  2. pp. 180-182
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  1. 85. Communication Crisis for the Catholic Church
  2. pp. 182-184
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  1. 86. Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the News
  2. pp. 184-185
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  1. 87. What’s Up, Doc?
  2. pp. 186-187
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  1. Relationships, Kids,and Communication
  2. p. 188
  1. 88. Communicating with Our Kids
  2. pp. 190-192
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  1. 89. Helping Our Kids Stand and Deliver
  2. pp. 193-194
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  1. 90. Communicating with Kids about a Scary World
  2. pp. 194-196
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  1. 91. Managing Anger Is Better Than Yelling
  2. pp. 197-198
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  1. 92. Are You a Sniping Spouse?
  2. pp. 198-200
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  1. 93. Woman Execs More Empathetic? Think Again
  2. pp. 200-202
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  1. 94. Even Casual Flirting Implies a Sexual Agenda
  2. pp. 202-204
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  1. 95. Gender Communication Is Not So Clear Cut
  2. pp. 204-205
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  1. 96. Crying Has No Place in Baseball or Business
  2. pp. 205-207
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  1. 97. “Get Over Yourself, Steve,”
  2. pp. 207-209
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  1. Mailbag
  2. p. 210
  1. 98. Knowledge Is Important but Passion Is the Key
  2. pp. 213-215
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  1. 99. Reading from the Script
  2. pp. 215-216
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  1. 100. Cue Cards,Motivation, and Presidential Blunders
  2. pp. 216-217
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  1. 101. Communicating with the Media Takes Discipline
  2. pp. 218-296
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  1. 102. Management Tips for the Younger Boss
  2. pp. 219-221
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  1. 103. Readers Respond to Parcells, Torre, and Boss Steinbrenner
  2. pp. 221-222
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  1. 104. Playing at Work
  2. pp. 223-224
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  1. 105. People Skills and Listening Tips
  2. pp. 224-226
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  1. 106. The Bottom Line on Listening
  2. pp. 226-227
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  1. 107. Children Offer Insight on Managing Anger
  2. pp. 228-229
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  1. 108. Too Little Data to Judge the Leadership of Women
  2. pp. 230-231
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  1. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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