Title Page, Copyright Page

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pp. i-vi

Contents

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pp. vii-xii

Anybody Can Write a Poem

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pp. 1-2

I ♥ Poetry

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pp. 3-4

Panic: A Retrospective

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pp. 5-5

Literalness

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pp. 6-7

Comment on the Sale of My Grandmother’s House

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pp. 8-8

Trade

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pp. 9-9

Comment on the Humidity of the Brain

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pp. 10-12

Obvious one day that the beige carpet was a different beige

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pp. 13-13

Choreography of Kaspar Meglinger

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pp. 14-14

The Golem on His Way to Kill the King

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pp. 15-15

Law, Order

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pp. 16-16

How to Stop Your Doppelgänger from Plagiarizing You

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pp. 17-18

How to Deal with the Most Persistent Zombie

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pp. 19-20

Two Front Teeth

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pp. 21-21

Comment on Source Material

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pp. 22-24

Narcissus of the Damned

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pp. 25-27

Instructions on Damaging the Monster’s Cloak of Invisibility

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pp. 28-28

How to Bathe

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pp. 29-29

It’s Weird that So Many Animals Including Us Have Lungs

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pp. 30-30

El Siete Mares

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pp. 31-31

The Animals All Are Gathering

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pp. 32-33

You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

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pp. 34-34

Instructions on Administering Nitrous Oxide

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pp. 35-36

Comment on the Coloration of the Floor

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pp. 37-37

A Monkey Could Write this Poem

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pp. 38-38

On the Sleeve

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pp. 39-40

Count to Ten Before Killing My Lassitude

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pp. 41-42

Sophistry for Chattel

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pp. 43-44

”But Nature is so uncomfortable. Grass is hard and lumpy and damp, and full of dreadful black insects.”

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pp. 45-45

Instructions on Dreaming of Walking

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pp. 46-49

The Bible Is God’s Personal Letter to You

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pp. 50-51

In.Case.Of.Trapped.Animal.Call.Lucy.

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pp. 52-52

Red Dwarves

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pp. 53-53

My Quietness Has a Man in It

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pp. 54-54

Instructions on Running Over a Cat

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pp. 55-57

Cocky Poem

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pp. 58-58

Healing Mass

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pp. 59-59

Commentary on Parole

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pp. 60-60

How to Approach the Girl with Candies on a Tray

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pp. 61-61

Appreciation: A Lament

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pp. 62-62

All Up in the Chicken Boxes

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pp. 63-63

Comment on My Failed Graphic Novel

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pp. 64-64

Immediately upon Pruning a Favorite Tree

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pp. 65-65

Non-Parable of the Boulder

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pp. 66-68

Death Threat

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pp. 69-70

Commentary on Visiting Your Grandfather’s Grave

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pp. 71-71

Come on—roses?

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pp. 72-76

Short Ends

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pp. 77-78

Acknowledgments

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pp. 79-81