Cover

pdf iconDownload PDF
 

Title Page

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. iii-vi

Table of Contents

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. vii-viii

Acknowledgments

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. ix-x

Foreword

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. xi-xvi

read more

1. "Become a Foster Parent: Help a Child"

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. 1-20

It was midnight, February 28, 2000, a Monday on the verge of a Tuesday. I lay in bed, shivering from anxiety. Although I had wondered if I should stay dressed for the visitors I was expecting, I had decided to change into my pajamas to help myself relax. My two children—Peter, nine, and Martha, six and ...

read more

2. And Baby Makes Five?

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. 21-58

Tuesday morning, I had to take the older kids to school, something Michael normally did that fell to me when he was traveling. The school is only about a ten- minute walk away—a pleasant walk, really. But that day, feeling a mixture of sleep deprivation and elation, I would have preferred ...

read more

3. Help, American-Style

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. 59-92

When Michael and I became foster parents, we learned how stigmatizing, demoralizing, and just plain inconvenient and time consuming being part of the “unentitled” population can be. With the exception of Early Intervention, we often felt that the programs were more concerned with regulating our behavior than with providing services....

read more

4. I'm Vanilla, You're Chocolate

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. 93-118

I was walking down the steps of our brownstone with Cecilia in my arms, taking her a few houses away to a babysitter while I went on an errand. It was a beautiful day and on my neighbor’s steps sat Junior, a Jamaican American who had been doing some work next door for several weeks and with whom I had a nodding acquaintance. I often saw him on the steps reading ...

read more

5. Attachment: Meeting the Eyes of Love

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. 118-137

The development of an attachment is like watching a living thing grow—it is almost impossible to see the growth, but a day or a month later, the evidence is there. The format of this chapter reflects the nature of attachment, which happens in immediate present-tense encounters. The idea of attachment and

read more

6. Eye of the Storm

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. 138-164

After a long and busy summer, Martha and Peter returned to school. The first week of September is also Michael’s birthday and this year I had planned a dinner party for him. Although I had ordered Indian food and was making only the desserts, it ended up being a lot of work. On the day ...

read more

7. Transition

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. 165-186

Michael and I were euphoric for several weeks after our decision to adopt Cecilia. It was exciting to think about her being a permanent member of our family and emotionally we charged ahead, ignoring the fact that we were not yet her legal parents and would not be for some time. I daydreamed ...

read more

8. The End of the Beginning

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. 187-194

The court had terminated the rights of Ella’s birth parents. She was now a “legal orphan.” However, we couldn’t move on just yet. The final step would be adoption. Over the next months, I was still obligated to bring Ella to the agency for visits as I had been doing for the past two years. Ella was ...

References

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. 195-198

Index

pdf iconDownload PDF

pp. 199-208