Title Page, Copyright Page

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pp. 1-6

Contents

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Prologue

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pp. 9-16

I can tell you the story but it won’t be true. It won’t be the facts as they happened exactly, each day, each footstep, each breath. Time elides, events shift; sometimes we shift them on purpose and forget that we did. Memory is just how we choose...

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Part I If Hiroshima

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pp. 17-82

These are the things I packed: — Twelve blank notebooks (paper is more expensive in Japan, or so I am told); — Three hundred tablets of Motrin IB and a bottle of 240 of the world’s heaviest multivitamins; — Forty-eight AA batteries in case my tape recorder dies...

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Part II In the Morning

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pp. 83-140

How simple to erase. It starts with a small, stubborn no, and Japan could be its birthplace: here, they have perfected the barely perceptible smile, the sliding maybe I’ve become so familiar with. If I’m making inroads now, if I’m gaining trust, I am...

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Part III After the Bomb

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pp. 141-170

Tuesday, September 11, 2001 Time in Japan: 9:49 p.m. telephone transcript “Moshi, moshi . . . ” “Rei? It’s Ami. Am I calling too late?” “No. What’s up?” “Well, I don’t know. I mean, I’m fine, but I think something happened in New York. My father was watching TV and they said there was a plane crash . . . I’m not sure what happened.”...

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Part IV Like a Dream

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pp. 171-244

I have been out. No longer inside, hiding; no longer whispering my worries in my head, voicing them to Brian who will not listen. I’ve been plucked off the ground—running from interview to interview to bar. If I’m not home, I don’t have to answer

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Part V One Must Ask Whose?

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pp. 245-331

Golden hair, bowl-cut, and oddly pastel eyes. My two sons, in Crayola sweatshirts and baggy jeans to match their father, and their father himself—my husband—towering above even the few foreigners in the stream of passengers pouring out of...

OF THE DAYDAY JUST BEGINNING

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pp. 332-333

Acknowledgments

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pp. 334-336