If We Had Known
Buy Issue for $25 at JHUP- If We Had Known
We adopted our daughter, Niki, from El Salvador when she was eleven months old. Her birthday was January 19, 1990. The only history about her birth parents that was known was that her mother was twenty eight when she gave birth to her. Niki was very healthy growing up except for some minor issues and nothing [End Page 106] that gave us concern. Also, none of her doctors ever mentioned to her that she might consider genetic testing except when she became pregnant at age twenty three. She had just graduated from the University of Hawaii with a BS in Geography and life was good. Since her husband was in the military, healthcare was affordable and easy to access. Doctors performed genetic testing since she did not have any family health history and determined that her baby was healthy. They never mentioned to her that she should have genetic testing in any other context because if they had she would have known that she was carrying the gene BRAC1 for breast cancer.
Her daughter was born when she was twenty three and Niki seemed healthy after that. She had been a dancer through high school and she was eager to get back into shape. She ran, lifted weights and pushed herself to do strenuous exercises. We had gone on a short vacation together in October and she was happy. Thanksgiving 2014, she hosted dinner for twelve and made seven homemade pies. She loved taking care and doing things for family and friends.
In early December of 2014 she complained that her back and shoulder was hurting and we all assumed she had been working out too hard. Also, as a new mother was regularly carrying around a toddler. She went to the doctor and he said she probably pulled a muscle and just dismissed her. This should have been a red flag since she was adopted, and additional testing could have given her precious time with us and her daughter and husband.
At Christmas 2014 she developed the flu and went to the emergency room, they tested her for the flu, it came back positive, so that was treated and she was sent home. But after that she did not look well and her back was hurting more so she went to the emergency room and they said she would need a referral from her primary doctor and they did not see anything unusual.
In January of 2015, she then went back to her primary doctor and had to insist that something was not right and he reluctantly agreed to let her have a mammogram even though he thought it was unnecessary. The mammogram came back abnormal and suspicious and a biopsy was scheduled. The results came back from the biopsy on January 15th. She met with the oncologist on Friday, January 16th and the oncologist ordered genetic testing and the test came back positive, she was indeed carrying the BRAC1 gene. Monday was both her 25th birthday and a holiday so she was to start treatment on Tuesday, January 20th.
On Sunday, the day before her 25th birthday, she had a party and invited all her friends and family. Niki told them not to feel sorry for her because she had been blessed to have been adopted and loved by her parents and friends. She said she was going to fight this and asked me to plan a family trip to Disney World so she could take her daughter to her favorite place. That trip took place without Niki a year later and was very bittersweet with memories all around us.
Her last Facebook post read:
January 19 at 9:20 pm ·
“I can honestly say this has been the best Birthday I have ever had!! I was reunited with 50+ friends, and felt completely spoiled, cherished, and loved! Although this next year will be the hardest year of my life I am ready to conquer and overcome this battle! And I know for a fact many blessings will come from all this because I’ve already been witnessing them the past few days. Thank you again everyone.”
Then later that...
