the cedar chest

our entry hall holds a cedar chest / we sit on to tug on boots / a chest filled not with linens or off-season clothes / but with the childhood art of our two boys

we know / with our sons now grown / that it's time to cull the stock / and as apartment dwellers / we could use the storage space / we even attempted the task once / but found it overwhelming / for the art stalled us with memories / of course / of our boys in all their balky stages / but it also sidelined us / with memories of our own balky / trainee-parent selves

we had to learn / for example / that when confronted with a page of crayon scribbles / to say not what's that / which deflated them / but to say tell me about it / then listen / and watch / their scribble world / rise sensibly alive

then came their first self-portraits / made of big circle heads / stuck with arms and legs / their bodies not yet visualized / though the needs of those bodies came to consume our own / teaching us to tackle child care / work / extended family / and chores / while sleepless / forgetful / edgy / and dulled / ourselves reduced to big circle heads stuck with arms and legs

next appeared the mixed media of sand and beads and glitter glued onto paper / of clay figures / cut paper / and photo collages / artwork that sprawled all over the apartment / coating what little remained of our battered adult stuff / especially when a boyball of friends descended / and we found ourselves taking a crash course in hair-splitting / balance of power diplomacy / our skills and patience / abraded and upgraded / by tugs of war between these ostensible allies / in their battles of fantastical fabrication

then suddenly / true representation flourished / striking sketches of family and friends / and self-portraits that now had full bodies / and deft expressions / art that taught us the close aesthetic analysis we applied to discern the artists' inner lives / as they strayed further and further from home / and from casual confidences / an analysis that became our lifeline / to their unfolding / autonomous selves

then the art cache ended / for what they produced they kept for themselves / or discarded before we could corral it / a seemingly sudden loss / we had to learn to make hard / grudging / peace with

so when we revisited the artwork / that one time / and found so many growing pains / both the boys' and ours / hauled up / and exposed / we loaded it all back in / dropped down the top and / challenged / as our final lesson / to appreciate the completion of our own long / collaborative / interactive project / proceeded to sit / side by side / happy and happily / on it