Vanilla by Billy Merrell (review)

When best friends Hunter and Vanilla come out as boyfriends at their eighth-grade dance, their classmates respond with envy—here is a couple who has the kind of sweetly intense, uncomplicated love that everyone wants. Then Hunter goes through puberty and begins pressing for sex as a way to deepen their intimacy, while Vanilla remains happy with kissing and occasional sexting. Eventually their conflict becomes public, at least with the one group that does bully them—a clique of gay boys, led by nonbinary, flamboyant Clown, who make fun of them for their virginity and exclusivity. The first half of this verse novel alternates between the poetic voices of Hunter and Vanilla, but then Clown's voice is added for perspective as the couple undergoes strain; ultimately they break apart, with Hunter seeking what he wants from the internet and a college boy, while Clown helps Vanilla to an understanding of his asexuality. Though Hunter is the only one who self-identifies as a poet, each boy speaks in heady, often obscure metaphors layered with deeply felt understanding of their emotional ecstasies and agonies. The cognitive challenge of the poetry, the boys' preternatural self-awareness of their gender identities in the midst of hormonal overload and heartbreak, the sensual descriptions of physical longings fulfilled and frustrated, and the attenuated focus on the rise and fall of a romantic relationship without external distractions of plot all combine here to earn the name of the publishing imprint, Push. Give this to readers ready to tip over into emerging adult lit. KC