Democracy: A Play

Democracy JosephBrodsky The office of the leaderof a small socialiststate. Interior: the apotheosis of dullness, enlivened only by afull-sized stuffed bear,in whose directionthe actorsnod orglancewhenever thepronoun "they" is used On the walls: portraitsof the founding fathers. High windows, Regencystyled , curtained in white. The spires of Lutheran churches can be discerned through the curtains. A long conference table, in the center of whichportions of watermelon on a dish glow ruby-red. The leader'sdesk: ajumble of telephones. Noon. Three middle-aged men and one woman-age indeterminate-are tucking into ameal. They include:BasilModestovich, Headof State;Petrovich,Minister oftheInterior;GustavAdolfovich, FinanceMinister;Cecilia,MinisterofCulture; Matilda, Secretary The speakers are not indicated.The actors and director should decide for themselves who says what, according to the logic of the proceedings. Not bad, this grouse, eh? Just right. It's the gravy, though, that does it. The gravy's super. What's this in it? Caviar? Uh-huh. Look's like. Astrakhan, is it? Guryev. Guryev, Guryev ... Where's that over there? Europe, or Asia? 64 The Urals. They brew good beer there. Makes the legs wobbly, especially in summer. The grouse is from the Salsky steppes as well, by the way. The word is Eurasia. Asiopa, more like, considering the ratio. N-yes. Siberian furs. Matches are Swedish. French perfume. Dutch cheese. Turkish tobacco. No, Bulgarian. Eh, same difference. German shepherds. Roman law. Everything's foreign. N-yes. The guards are from Vologda, though. Handcuffs are American, incidentally. From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Never! Honestly. You can believe him, Cecilia. He's the minister of justice, after all. Want me to show you? I always carry a set with me in the briefcase. There, feast your eyes on that. Ooh! No! Don't be afraid. They're American. Let's have a look, Petrovich. Here, it says, "Made in USA." So they've got them too. 65 What did you think? Capitalism is the word. We don't make this kind of stuff here. Got to lay out foreign currency. Well, no begrudging a good cause. No begrudging what? Currency, of course. Expensive, though. Twenty dollars apiece. That's retail, but even in bulk discount, it's dear. Discount? Mm-hmm, twenty per cent. "Most favored nation." Favored nation? You can believe him, Cecilia. Finance minister, after all. Perfume would be a better buy, then. It's French, no less. They make do with Polish. Not to mention the name's being so pretty: Pear Hops. That's perhaps in our language. Otherwise it's Coty. Coty's pretty as well. Besides, the French don't give you a discount, Cecilia. And you can never lay in enough perfume for everybody, can you? Even Polish. Perfume goes like nothing else, you know. A vial a week. The currency reserves just couldn't cope. As an investment handcuffs are more sound. From the fiscal point of view, I mean. Yes, our people are a tame lot. Rope does the job. Basil Modestovich, could I have a bit of watermelon? Go ahead. That watermelon's from Astrakhan as well, incidentally. I don't know about tame. Didn't you see that demonstration yesterday? The independence one? For ecology. Well, it's the same thing. You can't say that. Ecology is for protecting the environment. Independence is protection as well, from the same environment, by the way. 66 Now, you're going a bit too far, Petrovich. That wasn't me, Boris Modestovich. That was the demonstrators. Demonstrators, my foot. Just a mob. Eh, don't say that. It's the people, you know, the masses. Well, the masses always take the shape of a mob. Or a queue. That's right: squares or streets. Never anything else. Let me take that down. Ah, why bother? It's being done anyway. (Nods towards the bear.) But in that case why do they always rush to the palace? Seen too many movies? Because there's a square in front of the palace, that's why. And it's a street that leads to the square. As long as they're in the street, they're a queue. When they hit the square, they're a mob...