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  • A Work Definitely Not by Boz
  • William F. Long (bio) and Paul Schlicke (bio)

Aspirited suggestion has recently been made that a sketch signed “C. D.,” unacknowledged by Dickens, and hitherto not attributed to him, be considered his earliest published work (Hancher). This interesting possibility reminded us of an example of a work happily untouched by any such ambiguity.

In 1839, a short piece entitled “The Man Who Couldn’t Get Out. A Sketch – Not By ‘Boz.’” appeared in a provincial English periodical. Here, we transcribe the sketch, decode its content and briefly comment on its ironic reference to Dickens’s famous pseudonym.

The Sketch

“I will go out, that I will!” said a grey-headed old man, rising up from his chair in the big house where he had sat down to dine. The old man, be it known, though not nervous on many points, had a great aversion to the striking of a clock, especially when the stroke was not repeated many times. And just at the moment when he arose in such a quandary, he had been startled by the old family clock which had been brought from St. Stephen’s striking FIVE.

The big house was all in confusion at his exclamation. “He mustn’t go out!” “he mustn’t go out!” was uttered by many voices at once. “We shall all be turned out of our places by ROBIN PEELUM, if we lets him go!” And with that the Chambermaids, who had just been lunching upon LAMB, conscientiously locked the door, and hid the key in their pockets.

The old man was hurt; he was angry; but they soothed him by talking about DINNER, and he quietly sat down and forgot his fright.

The clock again struck. It was an eccentric clock, and quite out of order. With open eyes and open mouth the grey-headed man gazed upon it. His monomania, however, was a peculiar one. The repetition of the strokes of the clock operated as a quietus upon him. It struck TEN; and he sat down again in peace. [End Page 277]

Many and sweet were the words which passed between him and the Ladies, for the veteran Courtier still loved to ape the days of his youth. He was one, too, who could duly appreciate the blessings of the table. The bounties which the good Lady of the house had provided, he partook of with pleasure, and forgot his sorrows in the opiate of flowing wine.

But his old enemy pursued him. The clock again struck – it struck FIVE. He started up in amazement. His tremour and agitation returned. He was seizing his hat, when the Chambermaids again interfered, and prevented his escape. Much persuasion, however, was found requisite to make the poor monomaniac sit down this time. Doctor DAN was called in to see if he could allay his irritation. The Learned Doctor prescribed, as a RADICAL cure, a large dose of a narcotic drug, called OPEN QUESTION. This was administered, and the old man went to sleep, while the Ladies danced a BALLET. But his troubles did not end here. He awoke again just in time to hear the clock strike TWO. The poor creature writhed again with agony. “I will go out! I will go out!” he exclaimed. “You shan’t! you shan’t!” said the Chambermaids.

A scuffle ensued; the old man running to the door, and the maids with their brooms and dust-pans seeking to stop him. In the midst of the hubbub the Mistress came down to know what was the matter.

“MELLY wants to runs away,” said NORMA.

“And we won’t let him,” said SUTHY.

“No, that we won’t,” rejoined RICEY.

“And what does MELLY want to run away for?” inquired the Lady of the house.

“Why, please you, my Lady,” said the old man, “that clock striking frightens me so, I dare not stop to hear it.”

“Go, then, you old oaf,” said the Mistress, “if you’re frightened at such a thing, get along.”1

Context of the Sketch

The sketch presents a highly topical, surreal representation of characters and events involved in the celebrated constitutional crisis known as the...

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