Monologue during Demon Possession

Let’s just think about this for a second. Shut up! Just let me think. Okay, make a list of the embarrassing stuff you might want me to get rid of if things go south. Tell me what’s hiding in your dresser drawers, what I can keep, what not to read, what gets tossed into the river. [Pause] Hell, I don’t know any priests. Is that blood? IS THAT BLOOD? Don’t freak out. I said stop freaking out! Just let me know if you think you’re gonna ralph. I’m going to need to leave the room if you ralph. Should I get a bowl of water? Well I don’t know, I’ve never been to a demon possession before. I’m going to put on some music. [Goes to side of room] What calms a demon down? I’ll put on some Beethoven or something—hey you got any Haydn? These are some good records. Oh my God, have you been to the new shop on Sixth Avenue? Hey, can I have your record player if this doesn’t work?