Intersex people first began to publicly tell their stories in the 1990s. Twenty years on, these narratives, scorching in their candor, attest to a continuing failure to bear witness to or to acknowledge some of the most painful experiences we inflict on one another. More than anecdotes, these narratives provide a first–person reflection on care and thus represent a type of long–term follow–up that is largely absent in clinical literature. Out of respect for their courage, we owe these narratives serious consideration. Clinicians who must make daily decisions that may alter patients’ lives may distance themselves from negative outcomes and stories like those told here to avoid professional regret. Honest self–appraisal and accepting regret open the door to feeling guilty, devalued and ashamed, but experiencing these emotions can be a crucial first step in changing clinical practice.