When My Heart Was Wicked by Tricia Stirling (review)

After her beloved father’s death, high school junior Lacy knows that it is only a matter of time before her estranged mother, Cheyenne, swoops in and shatters the little bit of peace Lacy has established with her stepmom and their small town. Indeed, Cheyenne demands that Lacy come live with her in Sacramento, the city where Lacy grew up until she was twelve and where she suffered terrible abuse at her mother’s hands. Things are better this time around, but Lacy is still concerned that her mother’s bad influence, particularly her dabbling in black magic, will bring out the evil side in Lacy that she thought she buried—the side that she is certain caused the death of her baby brother years ago. The supernatural element here is subtle and nuanced, more akin to magical realism than an overtly supernatural story. Lacy proves an unreliable narrator, as she filters everything through a lens of self-recrimination, so even the more obvious instances of witchcraft are questionable in their actual effect (the spell she casts on a boy who assaults her, for example, is never proven to be at fault for his subsequent car accident). This therefore becomes more of an examination of the trauma abuse leaves behind than any spooky witch story; Lacy clearly sees herself as the evil her disturbed mother has told her to be, and her choice between dark and light magic becomes more a choice of perspective and identity. The dialogue is occasionally a bit stiff, but Lacy also makes some poetic and lyrical observations of grief and pain, and this will likely strike a chord with readers who have had their own experiences of victimization and survival.