The Landlord’s Tale (1708)

Canto I

A Gracious Prince as ever People bless’d,Of yore the Realm of Lombardy possess’d:Wise, Just, and Mild in Peace; of doughty FameTo War provok’d; Astolpho was his Name:And free from Faults his Reputation stood,Except some few, that surg’d from Youthful Blood.When Young, the Charms, his Face and Form engross’d,Were all that ever Human Kind could boast;For Nature had her Stores Epitomiz’d;And Him alone their beautious Sum compriz’d.         10A Female Model sure She first began,But quite mistook the Sex, and form’d it Man;Such Care she show’d, so nice the Sketch she pen’d,She scarce could copy, but could never mend.Here, manly Majesty appear’d to vye,And here, a Blooming Virgin pierc’d the Eye;And hard it was, the Mixture was so just,To say if Man, or Maid transcended most.The Ravish’d Crowd beheld his Lustre shine,And scarce refrain’d from offering Rites Divine;         20Hence Pride and Praise his noble Mind assail’d,The Man debauch’d, the Female most prevail’d:Self-prais’d, and vain, he stain’d his bright Renown,For less then Praise he priz’d his Queen and Crown.His Wonders round to Foreign Lands were blown,Fair in all Eyes, but fairest in his own.Once in a Bow’r amidst his Nobles sat,Retir’d to Sport, and to avoid the Heat;To draw fresh Praises from his flatt’ring Train,Full of himself, the Monarch thus began;         30’Tis said, my Lords (and Fame some Truths will tell) Of Nature’s Works, that we alone excel;So just our Frame, so gracefully we move,As if directed by the Queen of Love;But lest, like others, we amiss surmise,(For Kings are vain, and see with partial Eyes)Let your unbiass’d Suffrages be heard,That once for all, the Question may be clear’d.If round our Court or Realm, a Man be knownBlest with a Form, and Features like our own;         40Produce him; and our royal Grace he shares,Speak boldly All; and safe restrain your Fears.    Who would his Prince in such nice Points controul,Or check the Pride, or swelling of his Soul?As safe the Wretch, possess’d with mad Despair,Might stop the furious Lion’s wild Career:The Courtier still is on his Sovereign’s side,And sooths, and fawns, and gratifies his Pride.The Gazers drink him in with greedy Eyes,And upwards belch the Fume, in fulsome Lies.         50Since first (said One) this Universe aroseSuch bright Perfections ne’r did Heaven compose;Soft and Majestick fill their proper Place,Ten thousand Wonders opening in your Face.Such Wonders, adds the next, that each aloneMight form a sparkling Beauty of its own.As trembling helpless Doves, (the next replies)Sink dead before the Eagles dreadful Eyes;As Beasts Revere the Monarch of the Wood,So Lombard Slaves should crouch before their Lombard God.         60As Stars appear compar’d (another cries)To yon bright Sun, (and upwards casts his Eyes)Now help me Heaven as what I speak is true,Such dwindling things are all Mankind to you.

    So smoothly ran the Stream, till one arose,Who boldly durst the swelling Tide oppose.Fausto by Name, Astolpho’s Chamber-Squire,A Youth unthoughtful of advancing higher:As yet untainted with the Courtiers Pest,Not sawcy, tho’ not slavish like the rest;         70He view’d the Circle with a scornful Look,And thus his honest Soul, undaunted spoke;We grant your Person is extreamly fair,Your Fabrick Just, and of a Princely Air;And well we view you with astonish’d Eyes,For none can carry, few dispute the Prize.But yet (for you command us to be plain)’Twould argue Nature too Profuse, and Vain,On One alone to squander all her Art,When more (without Offence) may claim a part.         80One may! and One there is! Jocundo nam’d,As much for Beauty, as for Valour fam’d:He shares...