Russian Slang, circa 1995

АНАЛОГИЧНЫЙ СЛУЧАЙ был [ANALOGICHNYI SLUCHAI byl] idiom, joc. The opening of an expression of mocking disbelief (lit., “something similar happened”). “Have you heard? We had flying saucers here over Moscow last week. – Oh, yeah? Something similar happened in Africa with my cow.”

БЕЗ БУМAЖКИ ТЫ КАКАШКА [BEZ BUMAZHKI TY KAKASHKA], idiom. “Without documents you’re shit.” “I haven’t got all the papers necessary for getting a passport. – Well, without documents, you’re shit.”

«БЫВАЮТ В ЖИЗНИ ЗЛЫЕ ШУТКИ» – сказал петух, слезая с утки [“BYVAYUT V ZHIZNI ZLYE SHUTKI” – skazal petukh, slezaya s utki] idiom, rude. Lit. ‘“There are wicked tricks in this life,’ said the rooster, dismounting from the duck.” Used in sardonic dismissal of other people’s complaints or troubles.

ВОДКА – НАШ ВРАГ, И МЫ ЕË УНИЧТОЖАЕМ [VODKA – NASH VRAG, I MY YEYO UNICHTOZHAEM] idiom, joc. “Vodka is our enemy, so we’ll utterly consume it.” (This expression is a play on the well-known saying of the Stalin years regarding enemies of the people, “If the enemy won’t surrender, we’ll utterly consume him.”) “Why do you drink? It’s bad for your health. – Vodka is our enemy, so we’ll utterly consume it!”

ВОЗЬМИ С ПОЛКИ ПИРОЖОК [VOZMI S POLKI PIROZHOK] idiom, joc. A sarcastic response to someone’s boasts about his achievements (lit., “Take a cookie from the pantry,” i.e., as a reward.) “Do you know how many girls I’m going out with? – What a hero! Take yourself a cookie from the pantry.”

ВРУНОК, врунка [VRUNOK, vrunka] m., joc. A radio set, radio receiver (a Sovietism from vrun, “a liar,” alluding to the assumption that official radio news is all lies). “Turn on the lie-machine; it’s time for the news.”

ДОКАЖИ, ЧТО ТЫ НЕ ВЕРБЛЮД [DOKAZHI, CHTO TY NE VERBLYUD] idiom. It’s hard to prove one’s innocence (lit., “prove that you’re not a camel”). This is the punch line of the following joke: A rabbit was running for its life through the desert. When asked by a fox what it was running from, the rabbit explained that a lion had threatened to eat any camel in its path. “But you’re a rabbit,” objected the other. “Yes, but just try to prove that you’re not a camel!” “Of course everyone knows I didn’t do it, but just try to prove that you’re not a camel!”

КУДА ТЫ ДЕНЕШЬСЯ, КОГДА РАЗДЕНЕШЬСЯ [KUDA TY DENYESHSYA, KOGDA RAZDENYESHSYA] idiom, joc. “There’s no use getting dressed when you’ve already taken your clothes off.” Used of a situation in which expectations established by previous compliance make it hard to extricate oneself later on. “I’m not going to type any more of these papers for the boss. – No use getting dressed when you’ve already taken off your clothes.”

ЛУЧШЕ ЧЕСТНО ПËРДНУТЬ, ЧЕМ ПО-ШПИОНСКИ БЗДНУТЬ [LUCHSHE CHESTNO PYORDNUT, CHEM PO-SHPIONSKI BZDNUT] idiom, rude. “Better to fart honestly than secretly like a spy.” “Don’t hide it from us, we’ll find out anyway. It’s better to fart honestly than secretly like a spy.”

НЕ ПЬËТ ТОЛЬКО СОВА: она днëм спит, а ночью магазины закрыты [NE PYOT TOLKO SOVA: ona dnyom spit, a nochyu magaziny zakryty] idiom, joc. A proverbial expression used to assert, in response to the question whether someone drinks, that, of course, everyone drinks (lit., “The owl is the only creature that doesn’t drink, because in the daytime she’s asleep, and at night the stores are closed”). “Will you have a drink with us? – Of course! After all, the only creature that doesn’t drink is the owl.”

НОЖКИ: Ножки Буша [NOZHKI: Nozhki Busha] idiom, joc. Chicken legs imported from the United States (lit., Bush’s legs; so called because their import began under the Bush administration, partly subsidized at first as humanitarian aid; prior to that time separate chicken parts were unknown in Russian markets). “The price of Bush’s legs rose steeply in October.”

ПОЛШЕСТОГО: У кого-л. на полшестого [POLSHESTOVO: U kogo-l. na polshestovo] idiom, joc. Someone doesn’t have an erection (lit., “with him it’s 5:30,” referring to the hands of a clock). “So, is he pretty good in bed?” – “Are you kidding? Always half-past five!”

ПУШКИН, -a [PUSHKIN, -a] m., joc. Someone or other; I don’t know who. И кто испортил ковëр? – Пу́шкин. [I kto isportil kovyor? – Pushkin] “Who made this stain on the carpet?” – “Pushkin.”

СКОММУНИЗДИТЬ [SKOMMUNIZDIT] perf. only, joc. To steal, “communize.” By rhyme play on спиздить [spizdit...