Resolutions of the 1998 Annual Meeting: Flagstaff, Arizona

RESOLUTIONS OF THE 1998 ANNUAL MEETING FLAGSTAFF, ARIZONA W h e r e a s the Geography Department at Northern Arizona Uni­ versity so generously volunteered to host the 1998 Meetings of the Association of Pacific Coast Geographers, let it be noted that the department— in carrying out its duties and responsibilities— has per­ formed magnificently in a host of ways. The Resolution Committee believes that certain persons and events, however, merit special rec­ ognition, to wit: W h e r e a s our gracious hosts sought to give new meaning to the term “barbeque”— a function normally associated with shorts, Tshirts , and sandals— by replacing it with an apparently Inuit version requiring parkas, gloves, and fur-lined boots, and this event, which might better have been called “Where the cryosphere meets the exo­ sphere,” featured Navajo “freeze bread,” rather than the more traditional fry bread; and W h e r e a s the organizers chose the only hotel in Arizona without a bar or cocktail lounge, thereby denying more senior geographers their traditional gathering place, and in conjunction with a dry open­ ing session, dry social hour, and (almost) dry annual banquet, gave new meaning to the Southwest as an arid environment; and W h e r e a s — speaking of climate— Northern Arizona University shamelessly attempted to top the 1922 Bellingham meeting’s mul­ tiple killer whale pod feeding frenzy by demonstrating the entire annual range of Flagstaff weather in a single 24-hour period; and W h e r e a s the organization decided to reinvent the old treasure hunt game in the guise of “coffee, coffee, who’s got the coffee?,” having hidden it deep in the bowels of the DuBois Center far from the arena of social intercourse and from those who needed it most, and for refusing to post any hints or clues as to its whereabouts, thus assuring numerous brief naps in longer paper sessions; and 217 218 APCG YEARBOOK • VOLUME 61 • 1999 W h e r e a s the program committee unexpectedly performed a sur­ prise— yet painless— gender change on one of our longtime members, with Marlyn becoming Marilyn, possibly a ploy to get a larger turn­ out at the W omen’s Network luncheon; and W h e r e a s there is apparently an Arizona state law requiring horizontal -format slides only, any presenter with vertical slides found titles and other key visual elements projected into the stratosphere; and W h e r e a s a paper entitled “Statutes of Liberty” was rendered in the program as “Statues of Liberty,” numerous attendees seeking information on icons were instead subjected to a presentation on laws', and W h e r e a s young Clare Warren gave audible 5-, 2-, and 1-minute notices to her mother Stacy’s paper presentation, thus ensuring that the session chair would not have to bother; and W h e r e a s no two clocks in the DuBois Center could be found to agree, be it resolved that Alan Pred or other eminent geographer of time be invited to assist with next year’s program; and W h e r e a s Flagstaff, Arizona, our host city, so well represents a vital urban enclave in the rugged frontier West, and because the rep­ resentation of bovine herdspeople in these meetings has been minimal (except of course for Paul Starrs, our cowboy laureate), and whereas we geographers fully realize that we must reach out to any and all underrepresented groups, factions, and interests, be it therefore re­ solved that the following six epigrams of Arizona philosophy be adopted as the official Regional Guidelines to the 1998 Flagstaff Meeting: 1) Don’t squat with your spurs on. 2) The outcome of a rain dance has a lot to do with timing. 3) Always drink upstream from the herd. 4) If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. Resolutions 219 5) Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment. 6) If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to be...