The Whole Stupid Way We Are by N. Griffin (review)

Fourteen-year-old Dinah knows that her best friend, Skint, is worried about his father, who has early-onset Alzheimer’s, but she doesn’t want to delve into the upsetting details. Instead, she tries her best to distract Skint, to make him laugh or to construct fantasies where they help people, confront injustice, and never grow old themselves. Skint thinks Dinah is endearing and kind, but as he goes home each day to a scene where his father is becoming more and more debilitated and his mother sarcastic and abusive as she watches her husband slip away, he also begins to find Dinah’s relentless positivity annoying. Indeed, Dinah does initially come across as twee to the reader as well, until her character is developed enough to make it clear that her cheerfulness is a defense mechanism. Underneath, she’s a highly sensitive, well-loved and protected girl just beginning to understand that life isn’t always going to be a carefree space, and it makes her feel both cruel and ineffectual as her efforts to help people seem so small. As a consequence, she is a character that many readers will relate to, and they’ll therefore find her ultimate inability to save Skint from his own anger all the more tragic. The theme of missed opportunities for real connection is reminiscent of Perkins’ Criss Cross (BCCB 9/05), so steer readers who loved that book to this one. This title, however, offers more action, action that is sometimes funny, sometimes frustrating, and sometimes painful as readers realize along with Dinah and Skint that not everything in life is fixable, and that we must make room for sadness and loss.