Cardset

D'un accidente (. . .)
ch'é chiamato amore.

Guido Cavalcanti

I

When I turned seven
you arrived carrying an enormous felt covered bear
that immediately became
my inseparable companion
then behind everyone's back during the party
you carefully flung
the clean laundry from the clotheslines
into a tank filled with water next to the washtub
all the women exclaimed in chorus
the doctor's son is a terror

when I turned fourteen
I went to live at my grandmother's ranch
to care for the orange grove
and to help my brother keep the books
at the corner store he kept in town
to remember you tossing dice at home I installed
a game room
and there I wrote the stories
so extolled by my friend Arroniz
in the Córdoba newspaper
where he even compared me to Jane Austen
I jumped for joy and thought of you
who by then I had heard people call crazy
as you convalesced after throwing yourself
off of Tuxpango's spindle cart while in full motion
apparently to cool down in the river
the craziness of your absurd wagering that

on this day September second
I turned twenty-one
by the way of this letter
I beg you to visit
of course after this birthday
and without a present
your presence will be for me
like a felt covered bear
that shall fully compensate
for your absence of so many, many years
in the game room
the two of us alone shall play
a game of sevens or with the shaker
and then I'll be able to, after so much time
give you the longest kiss of all my life
and begin to preserve it each day
then you can peacefully return to your vagrancy
releasing cocks in the palenque festivals what horror.

II

I found the letter that never reached my hands
hidden or kept in an adventure book
of Sandokan the tiger of Malaysia
unfortunately I lost it again
and I just found it today in a manual
on carbon derivatives
it's been many years since I've left the palenques
and returned to the study of medicine
which I now practice in the city of Xalapa
because soon it will again be
September second
I will go to congratulate the famous
silver haired lady, exporter of pineapple
mangoes and pomelos
hoping to find you
in one of your three well-known branches
I will not confuse you with anyone else
since I never forgot
the unique color of your gaze
with me I'll bring my two granddaughters
who want to see if it is possible to touch
your alabaster hair
and Vivaldi, your famous dog
whom they have in a picture
cutout from a photo magazine
they will also dedicate their visit
to picking wildflowers
to offer as a gift to their grandmother
they will not interfere with your arcane project
of sealing with a kiss
now three decades later
our indelible encounter and/or failure

Irreversible
Like living or dying