Insectuality

10 Jason Ockert 10 Arc went into the city to soothe a woman’s hands. Her name was Muir. She entered the bakery wearing a scarf and sunglasses one afternoon and pointed to a pastry filled with cream, behind the glass. Arc began to fetch the pastry, and just when he had the cellophane paper firmly gripped on the item Muir said; Not that one, that one. And she pointed again, this time to a croissant clearly on a different tray from the cream-filled pastry. Her hand had a long pointer finger, which she smudged on the glass casing, emphasizing the croissant. But when Arc retrieved it, Muir said, No, no, that’s not what I meant at all. Finally, she bought a glazed doughnut and a cup of cranberry-flavored hot tea which she consumed with a look of disdain standing in the shop and gazing out the window at the autumn decorations lining the street. This became routine. Muir wanted a glazed doughnut every other day, and Arc was there to provide it. If Arc went for the doughnut first, Muir would bite her lip, considering, and say, No, I don’t think so, and she’d point to an everything bagel that she didn’t want and in time return to the glazed doughnut. Sometimes she drank flavored coffee, differently flavored by her whim. Arc didn’t mind the trouble. He found her faux-indecision alluring. It seemed like she didn’t know what she wanted when really she just neededthetimetolistentoherdesires.Hewantedtobelieveloveworked like this. He compared himself to the glazed doughnut and thought, at closing as he mopped, I am like the glazed doughnut. Muir probably dates a lot. I’m not her type, certainly. I’m not handsome. I don’t have a good head of hair. But that’s the stuff on the outside. Inside, I’m as good as anyone. She chooses the doughnut in the end. I can fix my glaze. Wearing a paper hat was a requirement at the bakery. Arc knew this, he understood the dress requirements. Once, though, Muir pointed to Arc’s head and said, Your hat is crooked. Then she pointed to a roll she couldn’t decide on. Arc checked his reflection in the window and Insectuality 11 colored when he saw how ridiculous the lopsided hat made him look. He straightened it and reached for the roll she didn’t want. Two days later Arc wore a black pork pie hat tilted just so. Muir commented that the hat made him look taller. Arc beamed and whistled softly as he went from an éclair to a loaf of sourdough bread and finally to the glazed doughnut. The boss, Mr. Darbray, reprimanded Arc and it was back to the paper hat. Still, Arc kept his pork pie hidden in an unused drawer under the counter and donned it when he saw Muir in her slow pace down the street toward the bakery. The first time Arc asked Muir for a date, he was nervous. He said, Would you like to go out on a date? She said, No, I think I’ll have the glazed doughnut. And a cup of hot cider. Arc figured Muir heard, Would you like a piece of cake? He’d have to be more articulate. The second time Arc asked Muir for a date she simply said, No. This didn’t bother Arc, he knew it wouldn’t be easy. He did sit-ups at home and brushed his teeth after meals. He bought a glossy magazine which claimed to know one hundred and one ways to a woman’s heart. Arc needed only one so he chose Be confident! In his apartment he practiced reaching into the refrigerator, keeping his arm straight, and saying in a deep voice, Would you like to try a Danish? Perhaps the hot, fresh, French bread just out of the oven? The next time he asked her out she said, No. Arc bought cologne. He shaved twice a day and when she rejected him again, he didn’t shave although this got him in trouble with Mr. Darbray. He tried acting coy, disinterested. When she...