An Interview

FEATURED AUTHOR—CRYSTAL WILKINSON An Interview_______________________ Morris A. Grubbs Morris Grubbs: Let's begin near the beginning, with yourformative years back in Casey County, Kentucky. You say in the Introduction to Blackberries , Blackberries that when you were growing up in Indian Creek, "being a woman " was what you "longedfor. " Could you talk more about this yearning ? Crystal Wilkinson: Well, I think because children were rare in the everyday of my early life, I always thought I was missing out on somethingthat only a full grownwoman could get at. EventhoughI was occasionally around my cousins, I was mostly around adults in my early years before school, and I was fascinated, absolutely fascinated, with the behavior of the women in my family. I thought my grandmother was absolutely up there with God, and I'm serious, and I remember thinking that literally, even when I was in college. This is probably not the appropriate avenue, but I'm fond of not being appropriate: when I was in college and experienced sex for the first time, I was seventeen then—a college freshman—I literally thought that either God, my grandmother, or both were going to come through the ceiling. I was sort of surprised when the walls didn't literally open up and the world come to an end for the sin I had committed. So that's how high I valued the women in my family. I think because I was an observant child that I really kind of fantasized or romanticized or merely invented this kind of mythic relationship with the women in my family. I felt the same way about my Aunt Sookie. I thought she was the perfect woman, the way she dressed, the way she carried herself, her hair, her lipstick, her voice. And she was my model for becoming a woman. It's odd now that I think about it. I didn't really see the men the same way except for my grandfather. He was of mythic proportions to me, too. I really think that this idea that no one could touch him is why I am not married to this day. But that is another story. MG: You have also mentioned that you wanted to "capture the secrets" of their "countryness" and their "womanness." Do you remember when you first became aware of the boundaries-clear and sometimes blurred-between 13 children and adults, women and men, country and city, black and white? As a child growing up in the heart ofsouth central Kentucky, how clear and how significant were these boundaries? CW: Well, this is a big one and one that has huge repercussions in my life. One that I should probably be in therapy for (smile). Let's see. I worshipped my grandparents, but I do remember never having a voice when other adults were around. I remember having something that I thought was so important to say and when my aunts were around, my grandmother ignored me. I don't even recall what it was on any of the occasions that I was trying to say, but I remember thinking that if I didn't get to say it I would die or the world would end. I never got to say it (whatever itwas) because I was a child and should stay in a child's place and not talk. I think that's why I probably went the other way when I was raising my own children and even with my granddaughter. I always, whether adults are around or not, cup my granddaughter's face in my hands and say "Yes, honey what is it?" so she can see that I am listening to her. I then tell her that it's not appropriate to interrupt a conversation, but I want her to always know that I hear her. I did that with my children, too. As a result they are all a little too self-important but not in an obnoxious way. It all stemmed from my own experience. I wanted to be a part of every aspect of my grandmother's life, and I was, but it was shocking to me that she would dismiss me when...