Resolutions of the 2009 APCG Meeting: San Diego, California

Whereas, the Geography Department at San Diego State University has hosted this 72^nd meeting of the Association of Pacific Coast Geographers with great aplomb, finesse, and savoir faire, and

Whereas, we have all benefited from their superb efforts, organization, and wonderful attention to detail, and

Whereas, we especially want to recognize the tireless labors of the meeting honchos Stuart Aitken and Fernando Bosco; the field trip coordinators John O’Leary and Zia Salim; the program coordinators Jim Craine, Giorgio Hadi Curti, and David Deis; and a whole host of terrific graduate and undergraduate volunteers; nevertheless, it has come to the attention of the thousands of eyes of the Resolutions Committee, equipped with hidden cameras, Google Earth and hundreds of neogeographers, that certain instances and circumstances merit special mention because of their je ne sais quoi flavor, to wit:

Whereas, San Diego, ever boastful of its “splendid” weather, was unable to match the solid sunny weather of the Oregon Rust Belt meetings of three years ago, surprising attendees with a Friday rainstorm that had Noah gathering the animals, and

Whereas, the Old Town Mexican Café, site of Thursday night’s cacophonous dinner, brought back memories of our beloved Vice President, Dan Quayle, with menu entrees such as “delicious prok with tomatoe” and also a mole sauce “with chocolate very Mexican,” and

Whereas, on the field trip that cruised San Diego Bay, field trip leader John O’Leary, tired of leading an unruly and unsavory mob of field trippers, including Vice President-elect Martha Henderson, dumped his trippers at the cruise ramp, saying he’d be right back after he parked the van, but he never returned, instead he headed to the nearby Holiday Inn and took a nap on a couch in the lobby, and

Whereas, Paul Starrs and Gary Hausladen of the University of Nevada, voted the Number One customers of the meetings by the staff at Charley’s Bar, rolled over the entire trackage of the San Diego Trolley system, disembarking at every stop, all 53 of them, because they wanted to be the first humans to have gone to the bathroom in every single station; apparently, San Diego Transit Police have now identified them as “Persons of Interest,” and

Whereas, Dan Arreola set a new precedent for paper presentation at an APCG meeting by insisting on a software update in the middle of his talk (is this neogeography?), and

Whereas, the Program Committee set a new world’s record by scheduling the Business Meeting from 7:00 p.m. to 6:30 a.m., only 11½ hours; apparently President Stuart Aitken had insisted that certain post-colonial neo-plasmic ontologies needed to be dealt with, and

Whereas, the Opening and the Plenary Sessions for this year’s meeting demonstrated a new meaning of the term “wide appeal,” both sessions being held in a hallway that was two rows deep and one football field wide; Carl Johannessen had to be restrained from trying to run up and down with a sign trying to get attendees to do the wave, and

Whereas, meeting co-chair Fernando Bosco created a reception sensation, “mashed potatoes martini” in three flavors, and regrettably, no gin, and

Whereas, our hosts chose a most unusual facility, with neo-tropical gardens, capitalistic Renaissance art and furnishings, and post-colonial colonial architecture with so many mirrors that on one occasion, when Treasurer Bob Richardson looked forward at what he thought was a mirrored wall and did not see himself, he was certain his lifelong fear of being a vampire had been confirmed; he did not eat the garlic potatoes, and

Whereas, Carl Johannesen, ever in pursuit of pre-Colombian transoceanic contact, because of the unprecedented quality of his sales pitch for his new book during the Presidential Plenary Session, has been hired by David Oreck to sell vacuum cleaners,

and,

Whereas, finally, and in truth,

Therefore be it resolved that we offer profound thanks to our generous hosts who have worked diligently and...