Report on the Difference between Men and Women

Report on the Difference between Men and Women Penelope Scambly Schott After thirteen years and twenty-seven days of marriage, my husband turns to me and asks, "How come we never have lemonade?" He pauses. "That kind that comes frozen in a can?" It's not like he's never been to the grocery store or I haven't asked him regularly if there's anything he'd like me to pick up, anything special he's in the mood for. So on the twenty-eighth day of our fourteenth year ofmarriage, I go to the store and buy lemonade, that kind that comes frozen in the can. At the checkout, I push the frozen pale yeUow cylinder onto the conveyer belt and look into the eyes of the middle-aged woman who is ringing up my groceries .Without preliminary, I announce, "After aU the time we've been married , my husband just asked me yesterday, out of the blue, 'How come we never have lemonade?'" She looks back at me. The edges of her mouth flicker in and out. First the whole bottom ofher face and then her shoulders begin to tremble. She convulses into giggling. Neither of us needs to say another word. I go home, unbag, defrost the can, mix up his lemonade in a taUjar, shake it weU, and put it in the refrigerator, front and center on the top shelfwhere even he can't miss it. When he comes in from work and starts browsing for something to drink, I say, "I bought lemonade today. It's right here in the front," and I point to it. He pours an enormous glass. I wonder what else he secretly wants. \m\ 155 ...