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  • A Cigar Is—Oh, Never Mind
  • Ai (bio)

They said all you have to do Is follow the bouncing Betty, I mean ball, Well now, maybe it was something else. Oh yeah, read the teleprompter, they said, If you lose your way, I mean, place On the straight and narrow path The Lord ass-kicked me into taking And here I am in front of the cameras again Trying to explain that when I was a young man, I didn’t worry about tomorrow. I was very fortunate. Sorrow had never knocked on my door And if it had, I wouldn’t have answered. I had enough on my plate of grits, Well, ok, whatever it was Was on a plate. I hate to rush you But I have matters of State to attend to So you’d better get on with it And ask the question you’ve been dying to, uh, um— Ask? Wait a minute, I will say Sometimes a kiss is justa kiss, uh, Or is it a cigar? Well, you know what I mean. You’ve seen it on the news Just like I have. I sure didn’t read it in the paper. I don’t have the patience for it. I like somebody to read to me; It helps me focus on the important things Like—uh, what was I just saying? [End Page 157] I’m kinda preoccupied right now. Got a lot on m’plate. Did I say that already? You can’t make hay without, you know—Grass? Sometimes when you have a date with destiny, You run a little late, But you get there. There’s no disgrace in that. I think the disgrace would be if I let a buncha— Uh, let someone tell me how to govern. I have the best teacher anyone could. I don’t have to tell you, well, maybe I do, I started at the top of my game, Well, both of them. See these hands. Steady as the rock of ages. That’s all you need to know. Can I go now? I mean I can go now. Ok, ok, one question. What’s that? Sorry, we’re out of time And we all know time waits for no man. Put that in your pipe and toke, I mean Smoke it. [End Page 158]

Ai

Ai is the author of seven books of poetry, including Vice, winner of the 1999 National Book Award, and Dread, published by Norton. She’s proud to be a Boomer.

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