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  • The Poem That Answers Why I Never Write Poems in Which You Appear, and: Confessional 12-Step Poem
  • Erin Belieu (bio)

The Poem That Answers Why I Never Write Poems in Which You Appear

Though it’s easier this morning

since you’ve kept me up all night with your allergy attack,

and your forgetting to take your allergy pills until it’s too late

and petting the cat because you’re a stooge for her pimpish ways,

letting her sleep on your lap when you know you shouldn’t. [End Page 33]

And there’s me, knowing that soon you’ll wake up and come find me

here, in the garage,

where I’m smoking and trying to write a poem in which you appear,

to peevishly insist that we need to quit smoking while you’re reaching

for your pack. But even this has

its domestic charms: what better life than you, cranky and topless in your plaid

pajama pants which are, as ever, turned inside out? and to those who

say there are worse troubles to have than an irritated man who loves you,

standing half-naked in the January grace of a fine Florida morning, kudos to them

for knowing what they’re talking about. [End Page 34]

Confessional 12-Step Poem

I am considering lighthouses in a completely new light:

for instance, lighthouses really have their shit together.

One may appear here at any moment.

And while it’s true that I forget to go to the meetings,

still, I did sign up, which must be some mark of improvement?

I have been making this effort, placing myself in uncomfortable positions

only for their documented health benefits.

I believe there is a serving of fiber in my every selfless or measured thought.

I am now able to hold objects—

like lighthouses—at an objective angle and admire them for their spooky, impersonal truths.

I consider this my pledge to the greater good.

Despite past evidence and gratuitous use of the first person,

I do wish to improve. [End Page 35]

Each day I start anew, launching myself against the great sea of . . . myself.

My dinghy is not in any way self-dramatizing.

There is a very real lighthouse in my future.

I will change what I cannot accept.

Erin Belieu

Erin Belieu is the author of three poetry collections, all from Copper Canyon Press. Her most recent book, Black Box, was a finalist for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize.

“Given that my birthday falls right on the line of the Boomers and the Gen-X’ers, I’ve always identified more with the X because of my inherent slacker tendencies. But I’ve always admired Boomers for their work ethic, even if Tom Brokaw does gas on about it a bit more than is strictly necessary.

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