Untitled, and: Summarized Autobiography of Adília Lopes, and: The Marquis of Chamilly to Marianna Alcoforado, and: Falling Asleep

XII

I grew the nail of my right index finger very longso I could write my poems on the walls of the cellbecause in the asylum where they locked methey do not give me ink or paper to write

I write at nightbecause during the day the other inmateswho stay in the cell with mekeep spying on meand when others stare at meI no longer know what my name is

I miss my bedroomon top of the ivory towerwhich I had built in PondichéryI would call my servantthrough a complicated system of bellssince the tower had one thousand and seven stepsI thought that Diderot had to visit meif he ever came to Pondichéryyet Diderot came to Pondichéryand he did not visit menow when someone knocks at the door of the cellfirst I think that Diderotis here to see methen I remember that Diderot has diedand I am afraid that it is just someone they sentto clip my nails.

My Muse, before she becamemy Muse, warned meyou sang without realizingthat to sing will cost you your tonguenow I am going to cut your tongue offso you will learn how to singmy Muse is cruelbut she is the only one I know.

Summarized Autobiography of Adília Lopes

My catsenjoy playingwith my cockroaches

Some of Marianna's letters ended upreaching different addresseesdue to the fatigue of postal workersand Marianna found out about itshe would roam the subway passagewaysapproaching gentlemenexcuse me, were you not the oneto whom I wroteI am so moved?and the horrified gentlemen would give her twenty-five escudosand run awayand she would buy more stampsand she would buy more stampsI am not sure whether you are the one I am writing toI do not quite remember your handsyesterday, on the subway, I thought I recognized youbut it was yet another terrible mistakeall letters would eventually be returned to hertightly sealedyour lover Ma'amno longer lives at this address.

The Marquis of Chamilly to Marianna Alcoforado

Ma'am you should havesomething very urgent and vitalto tell mebecause you have written me abundantlyand oftenI regret to inform you, howeverthat I am unable to readyour handwritingI have shown your lettersto all my friendsand to my motherand they cannot quite read it eitherwouldn't you tell mewhat you need to tell mein capital letters? or couldn't you ask someonewhose handwriting is more regularthan yoursto write to meon your behalf?as you can see, I am filled with the utmost desireto be of assistance to youbut your handwriting, Ma'am,is not your friend.

Falling Asleep

(with some things by Maria Teresa Horta)

I need to touch youstemcatropehandI hug youyour clothesyouI won't divulge youyour nameyour blue eyesyour gentlenessI hope you share thesewith someone dearas you shared themwith medear loverwhom I will not lose who I will not throw awaymy loversare not Gillettes(they are not to be discardedafter usage)although I ama pop poetessand I do not have loversI enjoy falling asleepthinking of youthe way you smiled at methe way you looked at meif my poems have contributed to thatthey are excellent.

There was a mirror in Paradise. It was covered with a piece of cloth. God had forbidden Adam and Eve to uncover the mirror. However, Eve uncovered the mirror. She recognized herself immediately. She felt unattractive and kind of old. "I don't like my-self," she...