Democracy! Act II

The offices of the head of a small capitalist state.

Interior: on the walls, pictures of movie and rock stars. Antlers. A life-sized stuffed bear, in whose direction the actors nod or glance whenever the pronoun “they” is used. High windows, in the Regency style, shaded by white curtains through which one can make out the spires of Lutheran churches and signs reading Cinzano, Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, etc. Long conference table overgrown with bottles and food. On the working desk of the head of state, a jumble of telephones.

Evening.

Three middle-aged men and one woman of uncertain age consume food. They include: Basil Modestovich, Head of State; Petrovich, Minister of the Interior; Gustav Adolfovich, Finance Minister; Cecilia, Minister of Culture. Matilda, the secretary. The parts are not indicated. The actors should decide for themselves who says what, according to the logic of the proceedings.

Not bad oysters, eh?

Yeah. Fresh.

By plane after all.

Ours or theirs?

Ours. Which are just repainted theirs.

Rickety, too.

Still, just two, three hours at best.

Three.

Still fresh.

Awfully good with lemon!

Advantages of geographic position.

Europe after all.

Yes, though Central.

Even if it’s Eastern.

And even if Asia, still Western.

Almost Common Market.

No Mercedeses, though.

True, but the highways, too, are so-so.

Autobahn’s still nowhere in sight.

Not such a simple affair, is it.

A thousand miles, actually, of pure bog.

Speaking only of the western border.

And who needs the eastern?

Yes, you can ride for three years in that direction without getting there. As the folk song has it.

Hit them with lemon, with lemon!

Especially by tractor.

Or by tank.

A tank would be from that direction, not in.

He who mentions things of old, Gustav, his eye should be poked out.

And he who forgets, both.

Oh, stop it, both of you.

Yes, really . . .

Moreover, history is over.

Yeah, I’ve read the article. Matilda translated it from English.

All that remains is geography.

And its advantages.

Still, as long as one wants something, history won’t end.

A Mercedes, say.

Or a Rolex.

Well, a Rolex Basil Modestovich has already got.

Yeah, but he is the President. For representation.

You never know who may arrive.

Yeah, by plane.

The Queen of England.

German Chancellor.

President of Onana Republic.

Iranian Ayatollah.

Roman Pope.

Mikado.

You can’t do without Rolex, it’s impossible.

Otherwise you’ll be late for the airport.

And the main course gets delayed also.

Not to mention the office.

One can miss an event.

Historical one especially.

Yeah, they always arrive with a historical visit.

Even from Belgium.

As long as the airport functions, history won’t end.

And as long as people want something.

How about you, Cecilia. Want something, do you, apart from a Mercedes?

I’d have some more oysters.

Well, too bad: four dozen’s all they sent in.

Only for the members of the State Council.

Yeah, for the Top. Nurturing moderate forces.

They care, after all. (Nod toward bear.) Nonstop transmission.

Before, it was also nonstop.

How could you compare? Before only sound was recorded. Nowadays the picture’s in color.

Sometimes mug shots.

Initialed “BBC.”

What’s left of the alphabet.

Or “CNN.”

Even less.

They care.

More exactly, keep an eye on.

You’ve got a persecution mania, Petrovich, after all.

He always did.

In a word, Internal Affairs.

Either persecutes or feels persecuted.

That happens.

A kind of complex.

A clinical case.

Oh, get off my back. It’s not us being monitored, it’s history.

And what’s the point of monitoring it?

Especially when it’s over.

Moreover if it’s not.

Yeah, since its repertory is limited.

Uh-huh. Democracy or tyranny . . . that’s all there is to it. True, Basil Modestovich?

Partly yes, Cecilia, but on the whole no . . . the main course is kind of late. . . .

You mean (she opens her eyes wide) there is more?

Depends on geography. The European one, for instance, leaves history very few options. The bigger the country, the fewer, Cecilia, are the options. A...