Reclaiming Our Traditions, Rituals, and Spaces: Spirituality and the Queer Asian Pacific American Experience

Over the last decade, Queer Asian Pacific Americans (QAPAs) have come out of the closet in large numbers to write about experiences that were previously hidden from our families and communities. ¹ We have written from our perspective on a number of topics, including activism, history, cultural studies, and the law. ² These developments are significant because, until recently, our voices have been "met with silence or token inclusion at best." ³

There is also a growing body of literature about QAPAs and our spiritual and religious experiences. ⁴ Building upon that literature, this essay will provide an overview of QAPA spiritual practices. In particular, it will describe how QAPAs have developed our own unique spirituality in the following three ways: 1) by reclaiming our spiritual traditions; 2) by reclaiming our rites and rituals; and 3) by reclaiming our sacred spaces.

This essay begins by describing the term "QAPA" and the complex issues that are associated with that term. The essay then describes some of the common experiences that are shared by QAPAs. Next, it turns to the three ways in which QAPAs have developed our own unique spirituality in response to those shared experiences. Finally, the essay concludes with some thoughts about the future direction of QAPA spirituality.

Complex Definitions

"QAPA" is not an easy term to define. Both of its component parts—"Queer" and "Asian Pacific American"—are umbrella terms that describe a wide variety of individuals who are marginalized within the dominant United States culture. "Queer," on the one hand, refers to those individuals who identify as being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, intersexed, questioning, or allied with such individuals. "Asian Pacific American," on the other hand, refers to those individuals who are of Asian (whether East Asian, South Asian, or Southeast Asian) or Pacific Islander descent, and who currently live in diaspora in North America. In other words, QAPAs are individuals who exist at the intersections of both of these broad categories.

Is it possible to say anything meaningful about the QAPA experience, particularly in light of the large number of sexualities, gender identities, races, ethnicities, and cultures that are encompassed by the term "QAPA"? Upon first glance, there may not seem to be very much in common between, say, a South Asian lesbian from the suburbs of Dallas and a Japanese American transgender man from New York City. However, I believe there are certain experiences that are shared by QAPAs, and I will describe some of those experiences in the next section.

"Spirituality" is also a difficult term to define. Like "QAPA," this term can signify many different things for many different people. For some, "spirituality" is used in contradistinction to "religion." That is, spirituality is seen as something more open-ended and inclusive, whereas religion is more closed and exclusive. For others, "spirituality" is used in contradistinction to "theology." That is, spirituality relates to praxis (or doing), whereas theology relates to theory (or thinking).

This essay will use the term "spirituality" in a much broader sense. Here, "spirituality" is used to describe any practice—whether public or private, formal or informal, praxis-oriented or theoretical—that brings an individual closer to ultimate reality, regardless of the monotheistic, dualistic, polytheistic, or non-theistic nature of that reality. In other words, spirituality can include liturgies, sacraments, prayers, reading scripture, meditation, dance, or even sex. Like the term "QAPA," the term "spirituality" is fluid and broadly inclusive.

Some Common Experiences

What are some common experiences that are shared by QAPAs? As noted above, the term "QAPA" refers to a wide range of sexualities, gender identities, and ethnicities, and it would seem that few generalities could be made about QAPAs. Nevertheless, there are at least two major themes experienced by many QAPAs: metaphorical homelessness and alienation from the body.

First, many QAPAs experience a sense of profound metaphorical homelessness. In other words, we never belong fully to any particular community. Unlike most "straight" Asian Pacific Americans, we are often excluded from our families of origin because of our marginalized sexualities and gender identities. Also, unlike most "white...