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Hypatia 17.3 (2002) 279-283



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Book Review

Emotional Rescue:
The Theory and Practice of a Feminist Father


Emotional Rescue: The Theory and Practice of a Feminist Father. By Isaac D. Balbus. New York: Routledge, 1998.

Many feminist scholars concerned with epistemology acknowledge that the dichotomy between the personal and the professional is a facade and have chosen to weave experience into their research, reinforcing that what Sandra [End Page 279] Harding refers to as "strong objectivity" is a myth. In Emotional Rescue: The Theory and Practice of a Feminist Father, Isaac Balbus recounts a tumultuous decade of his personal life and professional career as he develops his theories about parenting practices. These interwoven narratives allow the reader to glimpse how the trials and tribulations of a flesh and blood academic impact his theoretical positions. The result is a refreshing dose of epistemologically significant "reality scholarship" that shreds the vaunted veil of the passive voice of academia. Balbus is the protagonist of his own analysis, and that makes for intriguing and insightful reading: "Making the connection between my personal life and my intellectual life felt like a long overdue liberation from the academic discipline that insists on their separation" (215).

The personal narrative begins with Balbus coaxing his wife to have a baby because of the "intensity of my need for a child" (9) and follows his experience of the birth and early care of his daughter. Balbus is determined to be an equal coparent: "More than a decade's exposure to feminist consciousness-raising had convinced me that this was the most fitting way to do it" (11). The drama of the personal narrative includes high points such as the birth of his daughter and the intimacy that comes to an involved father, as well as low points such as his jealousy of his wife and the ultimate breakup of their marriage. All the while, Balbus is extremely forthcoming and self-critical in relating his experiences. Interwoven is an equally dramatic rendering of the highs and lows of academic life. Balbus successfully shares the thrill of the "aha" moment when after careful research certain relationships between phenomena become clear: "All of a sudden, things began to click. My conceptual wheels started to turn. . . . The parenting orientations of women were different from and opposed to the parenting orientations of men!" (33). The latter would become his guiding thesis, but struggles loomed. He also relates the despair that comes when colleagues do not agree with his analysis: "My work had always been controversial, but it had never absorbed such a total trashing. I'd been down, but not like this before. I was feeling down . . . and out" (184).

At least three important insights make this book a provocative and valuable contribution to feminist scholarship. The first stems from the unique perspective of a male who self-identifies as feminist and who is committed to dual parenting. Few narratives exist written by fathers from a feminist perspective. For example, the collection Feminist Parenting: Struggles, Triumphs and Comic Interludes (1994) contains only one male submission (mine). Balbus is not just any father, but one who is equipped to place his experience in a theoretical framework. Perhaps just as important as his theoretical understanding is Balbus's honesty. He admits to foibles and less than endearing feelings that provide a frank perspective on dual parenting. For example, he recounts his jealousy over his wife's physical intimacy with their baby. He particularly resents her breastfeeding and he hopes that his daughter will reject her breasts so that he [End Page 280] "would be able to feed her as often, and as well, as her mother" (26). For Balbus, coparenting falls short of the utopian existence he had hoped for given his reading of Dorothy Dinnerstein and Nancy Chodorow. Balbus demonstrates that two involved parents can be an invitation for greater conflict. The concern becomes whether that conflict is functional and positive or dysfunctional and potentially harmful. In Balbus's case, the parenting conflict ultimately contributed to the dissolution of his marriage. This is not...

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